Addicted

I must have developed quite a taste for obsession. Well, it's not qutie the act of being obsessed about something or someone, but rather an exquisite cocktail of delight and apprehension that overpowers your system when you know you're hooked.

I admit, with all honesty, I am addicted to MSN. Days without it just seem too long.

Addicted to the internet too. Although I don't clock record-breaking surf mileage, the internet has now become such an essential / central part of my life and I just can't seem to stay away from it. Phantom friends and digital buddies are beginning to seem more human by the minute... While just about every academic institution is digitalising our education through modular requirements.

I'm probably addicted to pain (ah, yes... the classic one). I have a theory that irony makes the world go round; that because humans constantly strive to exist, therefore they flirt with pain. There's more to this theory, but I'll save it for Pandora. Every so often, against better judgement and knowledge, I still go and dive headlong into an emotional blackhole. Sometimes I think I'm psycho like this... The struggle to stay in control as well as to fight your way out is simply rewarding beyond comparison.

Could you therefore conclude that I'm addicted to the notion of myself? I guess you could say that of me. Woah... deep. It just scares me to know, admit and understand this. How about you?

Could I therefore also suggest that I'm addicted to the idea of You? Well, given that I may not know You well enough with the amount of time and resources on-hand, I think that I'd simply have to extrapolate and form certain impressions based on what I already know or have observed -- therefore the use of "the idea of You". Random pictures, answers, thoughts, black, white, grey and feelings -- all go to make up the wonderful collage of You. To say the least, You fascinate me. Beyond this, I'm unsure what else I can/should see of You -- perhaps it's because I'm not able to, perhaps I'm just well... addicted to the idea of You!

I'm probably also addicted to blogging. Look at all this rubbish! I should be put away somewhere safe, and far away from influencing anyone for all this nonsense I write. I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell -- I know right now you can tell.

But stay a while and maybe then you'll see a different side of me.



JKLM