I flipped rummaged through our collection of plastic bags, I found myself on a time trip. As the bags parted without resistance to my clumsy plundering fingers, one by one, each of them crackled for me to stop. And I did so rather often, considering our escapades with each retro red, blue and white.
What a trip it was, with flashing images of the things we bought and places we combed filling my MTV mind. It must have been this feeling of cluttered excitement that ignited the Closet Auntie bomb in me.
Ah well, here goes another whirlwind of hair and dust.
JKLM
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Friday, February 24, 2006
Procrastination (Note: Tentative Title)
I'll tell you guys some other time about that time I got into trouble when I procras....
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Strange Rhyme
A leo's grey
An aquarius ray
Upon a vivd silk we tread.
Earthly showers
Bring moonface craters
Like butter with daily bread.
While in our head
Within lush beds
Lie a benign state between the stones.
Electric fever
From vinyl dream weaver
A dance that echoes from our bones.
Still we sleep
In turn to reach
A state of peace before we're done
As our tide rises with the sun.
JKLM
An aquarius ray
Upon a vivd silk we tread.
Earthly showers
Bring moonface craters
Like butter with daily bread.
While in our head
Within lush beds
Lie a benign state between the stones.
Electric fever
From vinyl dream weaver
A dance that echoes from our bones.
Still we sleep
In turn to reach
A state of peace before we're done
As our tide rises with the sun.
JKLM
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Concept of Two Creations
The Concept of Two Creations, as I understand it, states that most phenomenon have two points of creation -- the mental (or metaphysical) and the physical. With respect to our thoughts, actions, resultant consequences and personalities, this concept probably tries to explain that these things don't just 'happen'. At at least two distince points, we have all had some influence and choice over their development.
A very useful insight, but also a very solemn revelation.
Believing in this concept means believing in the existence of choice and self-awareness, and of course, placing yourself in a position where you are responsible for just about everything that is you. That's basically suggesting that I was (and still am) responsible as well as irresponsible. That's a really tough pill to swallow sometimes.
So many times before, I had taken the easier way out, rationalising to myself that it wasn't my fault. It was always easier to put the blame on environmental factors, on things and people I had no direct control over. Anger seemed justifiable and practical, because it was frequently used as a means in my environment. Even now, as I am older and have my opened my eyes a little more, anger seems convenient and can at times even be desirable. It seems as if a man with peace and without external emotion is a rather strange and undesirable human being.
This might seem like a rather extreme view. I beg to differ; recall the last time you were upset about something, and simply ask yourself this -- what were you upset about? Recall the other times when you were upset about something else -- what were you upset about? Now think about this: how many times, amongst those answers, did you use the words "I", "somebody was unreasonable/stupid/silly", "it wasn't my fault", "why didn't...", "if only...", "I wish..." etc...
I have come to believe that if we were truely as proactive and as good as we hoped/wanted to be, surely each problematic situation encountered is no more than an anormally in the function of things. What instigates our vivd reactions is frequently not the problem itself, but rather the flood of thougths that accompany it. Taking each problem on its own, we will easily see that they are nothing more than a sequence of events set against a preferred sequence. There's not much point piling problems together, because it's not only easy to confuse them with things that are normal, they frequently seem to suggest that we are far less capable than what we are!
And so, I've followed some good advice on a yellowed paperback to take a moment to stop and think ever so often. I've learnt not to ignore the voices in my head, not to suppress my stubborn will, but to accept them instead and to question their purpose and origin. Because they have these qualities, they would sooner be understood and broken down and away. It a little like how you don't chase after the snake that has bitten you, you find a way to remove the poison instead.
JKLM
A very useful insight, but also a very solemn revelation.
Believing in this concept means believing in the existence of choice and self-awareness, and of course, placing yourself in a position where you are responsible for just about everything that is you. That's basically suggesting that I was (and still am) responsible as well as irresponsible. That's a really tough pill to swallow sometimes.
So many times before, I had taken the easier way out, rationalising to myself that it wasn't my fault. It was always easier to put the blame on environmental factors, on things and people I had no direct control over. Anger seemed justifiable and practical, because it was frequently used as a means in my environment. Even now, as I am older and have my opened my eyes a little more, anger seems convenient and can at times even be desirable. It seems as if a man with peace and without external emotion is a rather strange and undesirable human being.
This might seem like a rather extreme view. I beg to differ; recall the last time you were upset about something, and simply ask yourself this -- what were you upset about? Recall the other times when you were upset about something else -- what were you upset about? Now think about this: how many times, amongst those answers, did you use the words "I", "somebody was unreasonable/stupid/silly", "it wasn't my fault", "why didn't...", "if only...", "I wish..." etc...
I have come to believe that if we were truely as proactive and as good as we hoped/wanted to be, surely each problematic situation encountered is no more than an anormally in the function of things. What instigates our vivd reactions is frequently not the problem itself, but rather the flood of thougths that accompany it. Taking each problem on its own, we will easily see that they are nothing more than a sequence of events set against a preferred sequence. There's not much point piling problems together, because it's not only easy to confuse them with things that are normal, they frequently seem to suggest that we are far less capable than what we are!
And so, I've followed some good advice on a yellowed paperback to take a moment to stop and think ever so often. I've learnt not to ignore the voices in my head, not to suppress my stubborn will, but to accept them instead and to question their purpose and origin. Because they have these qualities, they would sooner be understood and broken down and away. It a little like how you don't chase after the snake that has bitten you, you find a way to remove the poison instead.
JKLM
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Yoga
Control.
Breathing.
Life.
Asanas.
Balance
~ YOGA.
I never knew that moving my body through simple movements with calm control and breathing can be so refreshing! In fact, a short yoga session of about 3o mins made me acutely aware of the motion of my own limbs -- how heavy they are and how I've neglected them all this while. While I enslaved my muscles in pursuit of my sporting desires, it is their turn now to enslave me in my body's natural pursuit of balance.
A little yoga a day; a small step towards balance and greater self-control and awareness everyday. I guess it may be a good thing too that my father's temporary absence has forced my brother and I into adopting an unlikely schedule -- early mornings and regular walks outdoors with the dogs. Nothing like an imposed routine to break another.
With a piece of paper, my father is now onboard a plane bound for Christchurch. With another piece of paper, you made me smile. Won't you come fly with me someday?
JKLM
Breathing.
Life.
Asanas.
Balance
~ YOGA.
I never knew that moving my body through simple movements with calm control and breathing can be so refreshing! In fact, a short yoga session of about 3o mins made me acutely aware of the motion of my own limbs -- how heavy they are and how I've neglected them all this while. While I enslaved my muscles in pursuit of my sporting desires, it is their turn now to enslave me in my body's natural pursuit of balance.
A little yoga a day; a small step towards balance and greater self-control and awareness everyday. I guess it may be a good thing too that my father's temporary absence has forced my brother and I into adopting an unlikely schedule -- early mornings and regular walks outdoors with the dogs. Nothing like an imposed routine to break another.
With a piece of paper, my father is now onboard a plane bound for Christchurch. With another piece of paper, you made me smile. Won't you come fly with me someday?
JKLM
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Dreaming Awake
I've been visited by several strange and distasteful dreams lately. If you considered their possible implications with respect to the areas of my life, I'm sure you'd be equally disturbed. What I can't put a finger on is whether they are merely manifestations of my unsettled imagination or something deeper, especially since I've had a pretty accurate collection of deja-vu when I was younger.
This time around, it was about my EAI boss. He was one of leading characters in my HK mafia-story dream. Basically, he got me and my family into trouble during one of his routine indulgences. From what I understand, and fear in some ways, I was under his employment in several ways. We finally got off the hook, when the FBI used us as a stepping stone to nail my boss down during a stake-out, but not before we were dragged through an entire crime-thriller movie anatomy. From seedy back alleys to abandoned buildings and urban slums, we were there and so was he.
A dream? It's hard to dismiss it as such when thiss isn't the only or fist time I've had such encounters. It seemed like a continuation of another dream I've had when I was much younger.
What does it mean?
I know what you'd say: that it's time I got some more sleep. That's why I love you, and that's how you make me love you.
JKLM
This time around, it was about my EAI boss. He was one of leading characters in my HK mafia-story dream. Basically, he got me and my family into trouble during one of his routine indulgences. From what I understand, and fear in some ways, I was under his employment in several ways. We finally got off the hook, when the FBI used us as a stepping stone to nail my boss down during a stake-out, but not before we were dragged through an entire crime-thriller movie anatomy. From seedy back alleys to abandoned buildings and urban slums, we were there and so was he.
A dream? It's hard to dismiss it as such when thiss isn't the only or fist time I've had such encounters. It seemed like a continuation of another dream I've had when I was much younger.
What does it mean?
I know what you'd say: that it's time I got some more sleep. That's why I love you, and that's how you make me love you.
JKLM
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