God-less

They came here to share
What One had spoken
They told me that all wrongs
Would now be forgiven

I heard how they called
To faces unseen
Their voices sang praises
Both aloud and within

They asked for me to pray
They asked for me to try
They offered me new ways
To leave my doubts behind

I looked upon their faces
I could see no lie
I smiled my awkward answer
But envied their burning eyes

I played my part and followed
I stepped on to their beats
A heart that once was hollow
Is trying to be complete

Alas, their faces have shown
That I did not do well
I could not hide my yearning gaze
My struggles they could tell

There were so many questions
That kept my door closed tight
I've had too many friends
Like reason, doubt and pride

I parted feeling God-less
Not fit or meant-to-be
I wondered about my lost ticket
For their spritirual journey

For them it must be simple
A complete divine surrender
I wondered how I should have felt
When I received their offer

Should I stop this believing
In all that's here and now?
Could I ever give up this magic
Through reason which I've found?

One day Love came around the same
And offered me her ways
Again I smiled my answer
To her come-what-may

Alas and again we parted
My door stood tightly shut
Her key could not undo the hurt
Or fill a missing part

I swore I'd not do this again
She swore she'd never stop
A promise to keep trying
Like waves against the rocks

Could love and God be one
My door has kept shut out?
Condemned to search an eternity
Before the key is found?

Today I still feel God-less
Not fit or meant-to-be
I wonder about my lost ticket
And Love's promise to me