Christmas Wind

Christmas Wind
'O Christmas Wind
What joy your whisper brings

We have no snow
Nor cosy glow
That fireplaces may bring

But we'll still bring joy
With carols and toys
And all our hearts shall sing

Wine Again

Let the night

Be our concierge.

Let the wine

Be our chaperon.

May our words

Be the threads

That bind us closer

Than time could ever do

You are no dreamer

With your eyes on me

And I am no fool

To know that we're one

At the toll of midnight

Alas we shall part

Like fairy tale lovers

Back to our savage gardens

We shall miss the night

The song and the words

That could have made us dance

Or made us complete

You're just a part of me

I can't let go

I'm just a part of you

That refused to leave

Dancer

I watched you move
Out of my desire
Glowing and defiant
An auburn fire

You stepped and jumped
In your stage sun
Audienced in darkness
You were second to none

As I melt away
Into the one and many
Would you know
That I had been one of your many?

Oh dancer,
You inspire so much
Yet give me so little
Without the slightest touch

When at last
The curtains call
When thunder erupts
And roses fall

Would you know
That I couldn't breathe
When you spun
That dance into a myth

Within your bow
Within your smile
There lies your answer
"It was for you, all this while,"

Given in love
Received in grace
Your dance is the sun
My bringer of days

Incidental Art #2

Me?

I'm tired of being me.

I'm lost in my crow's nest

Sick of giving my best

Only to have my mates

Give me a fiery rebate

Would you care to switch

Your days for my ditch

Away from safe harbours

Into the arms of thunder

Incidental Art #1

There was a quiet

A burden removed

From shoulders tired

For a while, soothed

In that passing

Within that peace

My eyes were willows

Sighing to the breeze

Joy! What I had found

Is a secret garden

Within stony fields

Like Hope beneath my burdens

A Book Returned

My pages are freckled
Worn by casual hands
My skin, it's endured
The breath of another land

My love still runs as deep
Unchanged as before
if I let you in
I'm sure you'll want more

I started out prestine
All crisp and brand new
Now I've turned vintage
From my time with you

Yes, you say I'm still lovely
Yes, you adore my new look
But so quickly returned
From whom I was took

It takes more than time
To scarr a clean look
What once was given
Shouldn't be returned, like this book

Rainy Night

In the wind-swept avenues
The rain-cleansed streets
A torrent of leaves crackle
Like a whip against my feet

The endless drops roll on
From above against our skin
Against the walls we hide
Begging for the warmth within

A sheet of rain came greeting
Cold silk of welcome for me
Each step I took within them
Brought kisses both wet and free

Years ago I used to love
To share my song with the rain
These days my old heart wonders
If these bones would protest in pain

Ah, rainy night, you ease my soul
You bring to me much joy
With playful wetness and quick carrasses
The night, she is your voice

Mountaineer's Song

Singing rock, O' singing rock
For whom do you song?
Why do I hear your glories
Long after I am gone?

I know that you are waiting
I hear your whispering winds
I miss your strong character
That bend my soul to a whim

How you have been patient
Teaching me in silent grace
That I may know your secrets
If only I pledge my days

Singing rock, O' singing rock
How I dream of your song
In my nights of engineered reality
I will return, it won't be long

I Already Love Her

She turned my chaos into light
When my days all feel like nights
Gave me another reason to fight
To seek, to find, to love this life


Oh how it stirred my weary soul
Sparked a desire to have and hold
She was the flame against my night
"But it cannot happen," I was told

Oh the bitterness I felt
The anguish my reality dealt
That I must bend like the others
And not follow what I felt

But these moments are wise
For possession has a great price
To be paid by captor and captive both
For love to be bound in its device

What is free must remain so
Lest we forbid love to grow
We cannot keep what we cannot hold
Much less fit pure love into a mould

After much deliberation,
I reconsidered the situation
I guess I already loved her
Without the meaningless posession

==============================

I've tried many times before to "love" so many people, only to end up temporarily elated by the illusions I chose to see and believe. But this peace is fragile, and indeed none of my previous "loves" lasted very long. Not to say that I wasn't serious about them, but I certainly didn't know what was truly wrong.

I'm only beginning to see that many of the things I've done in the past have stemmed from my obsessive pursuit of purpose and romance. They have undoubtedly shaped me and convinced me of some approaches in life, where some of my greatest mistakes involved trying to possess what was once free, and to force love to conform to my romantic ideals.

Ah such mistakes do not reveal themselves easily or quickly, because we would surely have been blind in our pursuits; our mental gaze tunneled by our personal histories and past baggages. A continuous and thorough evaluation of one's life would be necessary to begin the journey of self-discovery -- for it is only after finding yourself, that you can truly find, and love, someone else.

Save Your Dreams For Another Day

Catcher, oh dear catcher
Can you hear me?
Do you know my heart?
For you hold my dreams

Do you save them
In those precious gems
That wink at me
In the night wind

I see in your eye
The promise of truth
A reason for my sigh
A hope for the missing

Catcher, oh dear catcher
How dear you are to me
I wish for your magic
To keep my heart

You'd guard my secrets
You'd stop the tears
You'd help me learn to save
My dreams for another day

Black Wings In The Night

You gave me a chance
To know how it feels
To fly upon wings
A freedom so real


I could have been Hermes
Through these night moments
When your precious gifts
Sailed me on streetlamp oceans


These black wings
Though are old
Their strong sweeps
Lend a power so real


Oh if only I could
Keep this up
But I've much to learn
Of this new art


=====================



Thank you for the rollerblades :)

Dreaming

I had a dream last night
You were in my arms
And it felt right

It was unexpected
I didn't dare consume
The grace of your affection

Your shoulders nuzzled me
Your hair whispered scents
But your face I couldn't see

I knew your shape
I had seen it before
Burned into my head

I knew your smell
And that soothing warmth
You were like a spell

Alas, who you my dear are
I may never know
Only to guess by far

For now I'm left
With your lingering love
And the sigh of your breath

Beautifully Broken

These streets
They are filthy
These rags
They don't fit me

My life
It's here for all to see
I'm poor
Born into your destiny

I have no name
They say I'm a son-of-a-bitch
It's all the same
Another name from their lips

My mom
She might as well be dead
My father
He's got drugs in his head

Someone said
That I look like a angel
Someone said
That I would soon be legal

Red lights
These walls, my home, cold
These men
At night they come, bold

I live here
In the backstreets of Calcutta
I'll be free
But all I've known is here

I Wish You Love

I have no excuse,
And there's no use,
To hide the love
I see in your eyes.

A love you gave
The love I saved
Inside this heart
Afraid yet enslaved

We've both had our truths,
We've both had to choose
This wine became vintage
Its full bouquet bloomed

We've lived these years
With our romantic fears
Too old for this philosophy,
Too young to stay clear

I'm a fool to have longed
To have waited wrong
When you wished me love
All along.

Confessions Over Tea

We'll lay it bare
In her cozy care
We'll fight the tears
Share out these fears

With creased smiles
And endearing frowns,
Like a mellow flame
We're warm with pain

Time will be our mistress
Tonight she keeps our secrets,
Our shattered pieces
And dearest misses.

We will surrender,
Quietly confess to her
While speaking of clouds
Like dreams and doubts.

Learning Compassion

FOR IAN:

Since I've learned to fight
I've been told that I
Should understand this rule
Marked in black and white

Live well and give your best
But there will come a test
Nothing is beyond its grasp
Nothing can teach death

But I was young
And I was stubborn
Too darn quick
With my sleek wit

Too soon your eyes grew shut
Against my late compassion
Upon your marble altar
I wished I hadn't judged

A loss is still a loss
In your wake come many
We offer our late praise
For life's greatest lesson

the queen

rule the earth
rule the seasons
regardless

bring the wine
bring her flowers
endless

there she rules
on jewel throne
graceful

but she cries
those opal eyes
inside

there's so much pain
from here
there's no one close
deep inside
all she gives is not
enough
and it can get really
silent

==============================

Beauty in darkness
darkness in beauty,
One's perspective
Another's prejudice

One For The Twilights

Feel the burn

Taste the morning in her kiss.

Feed the beast,

Steal it from her blushing lips.


One by one,
Whispers sing of giving in
Yearn for more
Taking can be such sweet sin


Because when morning comes
This bliss shall die
With the coming of life
We must run and fight

So I shed my skin
My fears and all my years
You strip me down
And take me in

Then we breathe in the stars
And with molten souls
The bliss it sings
In silent choir

For just a while
There is no fear
Feel it melt away
And leave us here

In the silence
In each other's silence

So much is in vain
My dear
There was so much pain
That we forget

We come alive before
The mornings come
Before we're silenced
And it's really silent

Most of The Time

We live and we breathe
We think and make believe
Most of the time

You fill these empty spaces
With the grace of angel faces
Most of the time

You give all that I can take
You give yourself away
Most of the time

I've tried so hard to stop
Against the hands of clocks
To buy some time

To hope in time
That this would all be fine
Most of the time

Now I live and breathe
With all my memories
I make believe
Most of the time

Tribute

A tribute to my fate
Weaved of love and beauty
Framed in such irony

Like a dreamers' love
Spun in gold and glitter
Thrown like wind blown cinder

I've found a truth
A truth about my loves
Two enchanting, ironic loves

Your free and lively natures
I fear to live and leave about
But cannot live without

I'd chase after your halos
To chase but not to steal
To seek that secret thrill

I crave to hold but just a while
Your tender brilliance
Your fragile spark

But alas I will lose you
For you cannot be owned
Not by my choice alone

For you see the question is
Not if I could love you
For I surely do

And not if you could love me
But if you
Would choose to

I guess I'm finally happier now
Knowing what I did not
But still ignorant about a whole lot!

The Hardest Things

"Love the heart that hurts you, but never hurt the heart that loves you"

"The only way to navigate Love
Is to be lost within it
It is neither a beast to be conquered
Nor a thought to be cornered
You are a guest in its presence
A voyeur in the dark
So feast not
Rather be the feast
Worthy of legends
For there is no sweeter ecstasy
Than the nectar
That is the yearning of your heart"


I received these blessed words from an old friend.

These words are simple, but I don't know what they mean. I read them over and over again, only to find myself lost in their dreamy rhyme.

I feel so jaded. Won't you come back and save me?

Sunshine

I could be happy
Just watching you glow,
Your glorious orange crown
Warms up my soul.

From a humble afterglow
A hint of the night,
Your brilliance comes burning
In molten light.

Like a match burning backwards
You burst into day
From a shy blushing amber
To a bright bold gold

I could be happy
Just watching you rise
All your golden caresses
They kiss my eyes.

Don't you ever stop smiling
You give me life,
If you ever stop coming,
I'd surely die...

Altar

On these steps I lay
Thinking 'bout your face
I feel it
Draw your curtains close
Against this cold

Just moments ago
We were dancing in
The twilight
Rising with the sun
Our souls unfold

In time you could be
All that I would know
My dreams are waking
And I'm loosing hold
Who's to say I'm coming round to you?


Upon these knees I've fallen
I've prayed for so long,
The thought of you
It's feeding this fire inside.
Won't you descend and save me
With the grace of your song,
Upon this altar I'm kneeling
In search of a sign.


Candles burn true
My lies they are these shadows hiding
From my eyes
From my life

In search of a truth
I look upon each altar I pass
From dreams I run
In search of you.


Upon these knees I've fallen
I've prayed for so long,
Your touch I feel it feeding
This fire inside.
Won't you descend and save me
With the grace of your song,
Upon your altar I'm kneeling
I'm waiting for your sign.

Disclosure

Tonight is a night unlike many I’ve had. It is rare, for I find myself wanting to write and rhyme but blessed with far more cords than I can weave. As if a whisper from the moon had smoothed its way past the clouds, my heart is cooled by reality yet warmed by its sudden recollections.

In the night sky lie my answers. This night sky, this full moon is to blame for a great many things that have chanced me so far. Aren’t you, my old friend?

I have had the pleasure of three great loves in my life so far: the stars, the moon and the clouds. Of course, I am constantly invited and ticked by the winds, with whom I gratefully converse and share my wisdom, but I don't fancy them. Allow me now, to share with you these precious pieces of my heart.

O' Stars, celestial but unreachable; glorious in your heavenly throne, I think you exotic. Because I can never have you, I think our distance fated and made all the more charming by your winking smiles. Such vivid romanticism you offer me.

Dearest moon, for so long, so many have loved your presence. I too was not spared your omnipresence; your silver gown brought my senses to their knees and inspired these reckless poets to adorn you with mysticisms as witness to your beauty. My kingdom’s was fragile, but I was too proud to think otherwise.

Lovely clouds; oh, how limitless you seem – shapeless and giving, urging myths of your own from the many scattered souls that you shower. You are earth-bound; though my floating soul craves for moon and star, you inspire its youthful imagination as you exist seamlessly with gold and silver, day and night. You were always there, after the moon was gone.

“I miss you all, oh so very much.” I think, making love to this night scene with my eyes. “You are all so beautiful,” I admitted, “and deserve more than the pathetic private worship of this madman who burns his words the way he does himself.”

This cauldron of ink, silver, diamond and silk returns my stares; it offers me silence, and echoes of my desperation. I find myself wondering again why I still feel as if nothing could anchor my sleepless soul, as if I once had everything, but now can only want everything.

No matter my disposition, my loves have always lived and changed with the night sky on their own decision. I bid goodnight to them: to the stars, for whom I will always smile and wonder, but know in secret that I may never be with, if I may only dream. The moon, who still curls my lips with her silver fingers, and make me sigh because I once dreamt.

And of course, and perhaps most lovingly, to the clouds for whom I now give all that’s left of my love, gingerly exploring her silken broadways in search for her cheerful and light kisses. With the clouds, the winds are common-folk, and oh, do they love to dance and cheer. They make me smile, even if only for a while.

“I guess it makes sense to say this here then,” I smiled to myself.

“I love you, you know I do.”

Finally.

Woman

What is it
About the shape of a lady
That whispers
To me a quiet story
Of love, of fear
Of dreams and fragility

What is it
About the geography
Of a woman
That sings
A bittersweet melody,
A gentle garmet
That reins in any stallion


(Incomplete, but this poem came to my mind some time ago while I wandered the streets of Manila. I'm sure I can do a better job, but I just liked the way this half-baked fantasy waylaid my thoughts.)

Before Sleep Took Me Under

When my mind is drugged
When my eyes are haunted
By ghosts
And dreams departed,

Through nostalgia thick
I bargain soul and will
For something other
Than thoughts of you.

You are there,
But I can't care,
For nothing else
Cos I want you here.

Adrift on melancholy
A sigh heavy with old love,
These ghosts
Still test my worth.

In light I walk
In darkness I sleep
When will you
Leave my jaded lips?

Unbelievale

Could it be
That I'm finally free,
Given the chance
Again to dance
In the sunshine
That you have made mine?

Slowly these vines
That grew my lines,
Stopped to creep
And went to sleep.

Thus I woke
In the golden yoke
Of shunshine and moonlight
And the comforting sight
Of your smile
And our idle sighs.

Gifts

Said a gentleman,
To a lady fair
‘In and with tradition
I bring thee grandé fare.’

‘From the Orient Pearl
I bring forth spices
I bring forth jewels
For m’lady’s devices.

Perhaps most of all
I bring thee wisdom
No stories tall
Nor thoughts random

What is happiness
But a bad memory,
In times of forgetfulness
We know that pain is temporary.’

Evolution

Beauty begets beauty
Your painted reality
Versus my wounded dignity

How your words evolve
Slow but with resolve

From yesterday’s gloom
To today’s bloom
Your light still fills my room

Metro Mayhem

This modern shack
This urban sprawl
This is Manila
Sunset, nightlife and all.

On a pushcart
One sells art
On another
Lies a family in parts.

Someone’s daughter
Cradling her baby sister
By the roadside
Invisible to passers.

Someone’s mother
Busy touting flowers
To highway pilots
Who don’t seem to bother.

Someone’s brother
Hunched like a scholar
Atop his trash bag chair
A book he devours.

In my clothes I feel rich
In my dignity I feel sick
I can’t think
When she came to me
Palm open
And a look so deep
I felt a kick

She had long ago learnt
Not to yearn
But to live
And wait her turn

A Hot Night On the Cold Sidewalk

Have you slept
Under the stars?
Would you sleep
Unafraid on grass
Under a moon
A tungsten bloom.
Could you dream alone
Stay warm in a cupboard dome.
Could you do without a home?
Could you even live without your phone?

Manila!

In one piece,
Hotel room finally at ease.
To the mambo of MTV,
A mirror of her sister [V].
Diverse and divided,
Night lights excite a soul, uninvited.
Foreign.

Revival

From casual conversation
A jewelled inspiration
Bore a fragile twinkle
A drop and ripple.

A simple gift
Of words and myth
Of song so sweet
Soundless from these lips.

Enjoy, for
This revival,
Unexpected
Is jaded.



BROWN PENNY

I WHISPERED, 'I am too young,'
And then, 'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.

'Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.'
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.

O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.

Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.

~ William Butler Yeats

Shutting Down

I've been contemplating this for some time.

Perhaps I should shut down this blog and move on out. Away from all this.

I love to write, to rhyme, to carry on this comfortable madness. But I have found nothing but sadness so far. While sadness is beautiful and beauty is priceless wine, I find that I can stomach little more.

I'm sick of its taste. Oh, the bittersweet nectar that flows through my senses and nuzzles my soul. I've been intoxicated, and now, hungover.

This time, I have perhaps been truely left with nothing. Because I have to build up so many things again from scratch, at work and at home. I find myself stretched, and wanting.

Wanting healing more than anything else. Because my wounds are old, and beginning to stink.

I feel like a fizzling sparkler left in the dark after the celebrations are over...

I'm shutting down this woozy nausea of rhyme and rhythm, and moving on to a harder skined beast to hide my soft underbelly. My words will poison another heart no more.

More updates on my new digital canvas coming soon.



JKLM

My New Baby

http://www.rp.sg/osg/sports/ivp.asp

http://www.rp.sg/osg/republic/index.asp

My new baby; my new muse.

My new want-it-all focus of my life.

Check it out. Comments are welcomed.

==============================

I'm moving from one obsession to another in my life. Now isn't that healthy?

I'm finally happy. And that's why I've stopped rhyming for a while. Music and poetry is at their sweetest for me when it's dark.

Oh don't worry. They'll be back. They're already a part of me.

==============================

Thank you for being there with me through it all.

I guess we both just need more time. For now.

Who knows what else will happen tomorrow?



JKLM

Article #04

Here's a sample of one of the articles that I've worked on for my department. Darn... this one sure took a long time. Too much info, too many inspirations and ideas, not to mention too many noteworthy gold-dust moments.

I'm trying to polish up my writing as well as work towards establishing a sports publication for my department. Simply because the kids deserve it. And once you've seen them perform on their personal battlefields, you're sure that they will be able to surprise you again.

This site will change too, hopefully, into a sort of periodical layout. Just for kicks...

===============================

3RD NATIONAL INTER-GRASIO PENCAK SILAT CHAMPIONSHIPS 2006:
Beyond A Sport; Into Pesilat


What do you know about Silat? A soldier’s conviction is best communicated through his unyielding stance, but how much deeper is the true extent of a warrior’s soul, and the cause for which he fights?

Pencak Silat has made its presence felt in Singapore since its humble beginnings at Masjid Al-Khair mosque in 1977, and it has since then grown and evolved to become a modern interpretation of chivalry for the local Malay/Muslim community. With about 3000 students, over 60 instructors and many more supporters rallied behind the flag of this sport, Pencak Silat has pervaded Singapore through its training centre at Residents’ Committees and Community Centre, and made an undeniable impact in the region during the Asian and Commonwealth Games.

Locally, Pencak Silat is taught and managed through the traditional hierarchy system of a National Sports Association (Singapore Silat Federation), its constituent clubs and affiliates. The Grasio Association is Singapore’s largest Silat club, with an active membership of over 2000 from over 70 constituent grass-roots groups. And it is this mammoth club that took the initiative to organize this explosive national event.

From 22nd to 25th December 2006, RP’s familiar AGORA Halls were converted into the modern battle grounds for Singapore’s Pencak Silat practitioners. Regardless of age, skill and race, over 1000 warriors clashed in close to 20 events to pursue the ideals of Pesilat and bring glory to their Grasio group. Never mind that the event stole Santa’s limelight, as it turns out, the participants received their fair share of goodies this Christmas and had plenty to cheer about.

Over 1000 members put aside their holiday plans and devoted their time tirelessly under the leadership of their Grandmaster and local Silat hero, Mr. Sheik Alau’ddin Bin Yacoob Marican, PBM. Mr. Sheik’s experience as a Silat practitioner and coach is undeniable: as a two-time World Silat Champion, multiple SEA Games gold medalist as well as a multiple award-winning coach, his presence immediately commanded the respect and attention of all who were present. The success of this event was a clear testament to team spirit of the Grasio Sports Silat School, and Mr. Sheik’s experienced guidance.

The energy exhibited at this event was cumulated at the opening and closing ceremonies. Like a great mythical monkey, the spirit of camaraderie and anticipation of competition rose steadily with the excited chatter and eager shifting feet in the AGORA Halls. Once the GOH arrived on-site, traditional Malay musical percussions thundered in a synchronized heartbeat through the halls;. Like a jungle tune of raw energy, kompangs and rebanas singing proudly their praises for the gregarious spirit of Pesilat and the unity of the local Malay / Muslim unity.

Throughout the rest of the event, competitors contested in a range of contact and non-contact forms of Silat. Some of the highlights included contact sparring between contestants as young as 5 years old, as well as an all-stars sparring match between 5 of Gasio Sports Silat School’s representatives and a rival local school. A first in this national Silat championship is also the All-Styles Open Championships, which feature full contact sparring and a no-styles –barred. Due to the rigorous demands of this segment, strict requirements and rules were imposed to ensure fair play and healthy competition.

There was plenty to see and cheer about in this championship. Confident and powerful stances displayed by experienced Silat practitioners inspired their younger apprentices, while precisely synchronized movements from youths in the Group Sparring Art Form segments earned thumbs-up from even some of the strictest instructors. I was inspired by what I had the priviledge to witness, but even more so intrigued by this art-sport that was Pencak Silat.

As I had come to understand, Pencak Silat in Singapore today was first conceived through the warring cultures of feudal Indonesia, in the Nusantara archipelago. This art of self-defense was subsequently forged through the ages by a mix of tradition and modernity, eventually giving rise to the dynamic art-sport we see today. Pencak Silat is still taught in Singapore with a style that respects and honours its traditional emphasis on honesty, justice, respect, discipline and loyalty, yet acknowledging our changing way of life through the accommodation of personal style and alternative training methods.

The purpose of Grasio Association (Singapore), as intended by its founder Mr. Sheik Alau’ddin, was not only to reach out Malay community, but also to other races, focusing on the promotion of self-development and improvement through self-discipline and learning the technical aspects of the sport. Indeed, it must demand much self-discipline of individuals to learn the skills of fighting and to gain the knowledge of mental training while controlling the desire to misuse of abuse it.

This understanding and respect for the old-world values of justice and honour can perhaps be best summarized in the Pesilat Pledge. This pledge is a symbolic representation of Pencak Silat’s warrior roots, and more significantly stays throughout the ages to remind all practitioners of its timeless and true values. I like to think of these as the modern knights, and the re-discovered oaths of their round-table.

Pencak Silat is a sport based on fitness, built on technique and refined through its values. Above that, Silat is a way of life, for its passionate practitioners and for the lives which they have changed. Many youths found their way around their teenage problems through healthy engagement in this sport, while many other found their higher calling in pursuing the physical limits and achievements in the national and regional sports scene. For many years now, Pencak Silat has touched and affected lives of its practitioners, and it will continue to do so, much thanks to the efforts and wisdom of its celebrated leader and local hero, Mr. Sheik Alau’ddin.

=================================

Pesilat Pledge
Pesilat is an individual who has noble mind and character.
A Pesilat is a man who honors his fellow man and loves friendship and peace.
A Pesilat is a man who always thinks and acts positively, creatively and dynamic.
A Pesilat is a knight who upholds truth honesty and justice, and is always resilient in facing any ordeal and temptation.
A Pesilat is a knight who is always responsible for his words and deeds.

=================================

This just so characteristic of my style. I'm now desperate to evolve and grow; in writing, in appetite and in senses I'm hungry, oh yes once again, for more. And that's exactly what I'm gonna get -- one way or another.

Comments?

Get me at limjunekiat@gmail.com


JKLM