Wiser -- A Purposeful Fool

I now believe that I am a little wiser, and see a little more clearly than I had before.

I now understand that there isn't very much reason to be upset about; much less stay upset at that. Because you're happy now, and that's what matters more to me.

I now understand that we're alike, even though we made different choices. I now understand that your "mistakes" were nothing that I would not / have not done when I was in your position. Only I had the blessing of learning my lessons before you did.

I now understand why I loved you in such poetic fashion; why everything you did seemed beautiful to me, and why I still think so. Perhaps our only mistakes were our youthful vanity and naive notions of making the temporary last longer; both you and I took that step, though one before the other.

I now understand that there is still beauty in what we shared, regardless in what we don't now. I now understand what love is to me, and what it could be to you. I also understand why you don't understand what I write so very often. It's not your fault.

I now understand what it is to forgive, and what it is to get in touch with myself again. This was a favour you did for me through your actions, albeit unintentionally. It is appreciated nonetheless.

I now understand that I think too much -- not for me, but for you.

I now understand better the mystic beauty of the printed word, and the sensual illusions of my incourigible imagination. I am a romantic at the worst possible times, and remain so even when I am obviously playing the fool. You are right -- I am a fool for love, but at other times, I am merely a fool. I'm happy in the knowledge that I'll never be alone.

I now understand that I have an unhealthy obsession with searching for answers, and in the process defining myself - for it is not just the process that I'm attached to, it's the insatiable desire for an unachievable end that drives me. In this search, I see, I learn and I get by. Of course, this is what the romantic do: we love the unlovable and see beauty where there is none.

I now understand that it is futile to live for one, but quite dull to simply live with another. A constant game and mystery is essential. Nothing destroys the fragile illusions of naivity and hope like truth and indifference.

I now know that I can be and am happy. Well, the best I can be, anyway. Thank You.



JKLM
the madpoet