Her-t

I wanted to hurt you
Just to know that we mattered
That I mattered
That we were worth something
Though you were always worth more
More than you were
More than I should
More than we knew how to deal

I wanted to hurt you
Because it would hurt me too
And I'd have something
To be sorry about
Even if it was my fault
Especially if it was my fault
And you were right
And so was I, just differently

I wanted to hurt you
And I did - I left, I closed
The only windows I opened
For you, for me
For what I hoped we could be
For who I wanted you to be
So plainly, so simply,  yet unfairly
I played my part, and paid my part

I wanted to hurt you
Not anymore, not now

Not when you're far away

And I'm on this one-way street

Mending a way by each streetlight

Slowly no longer mad, and desperate

Your ghosts have no more echoes 

And mine no longer alone in the shadows

Masks (Haiku)

Put on masks that smile

Lament the lover we chose

Scared to be alone

Made up minds to try

Struggle against tides inside

Unsure, unfair - life

Take off masks that cry

Let the sun and wind creep in

Forget, for a while

Disclosure (Goodbye, My Love)

This is it
A destination
Not one I wanted
But one we deserved

One of many
That could be worse
Or could have been
But life, forced into reverse

I've held back
Not for fear
But in consideration
For both our realities

Yes, you're right
I've not been open
No comedic relief
In the drought of our hardships

My romances
Misunderstood
Rolling off these stone walls
An accident we couldn't avoid

Your mystery
I could not unravel
From perfection, so quickly
A vintage spoilt, rotten

I've made mistakes
Clearly, been unable too
Get what was not given
To see what was well hidden

The final judgement
Served clean and cold
There will be no more chapters
No verbatim; a termination

Turned away
It was complicated, compounded
Who was this for
It was for you; it was for me

Accepting the faults
Perhaps we both did, blinded
By love, but for whom
It was for you; it was for me

Dear Climbing

Dear Climbing,

From the moment
I pulled on my first pair of hand-me-downs
And winced at the tightness
Clambering awkwardly upward
Then along the walls
I knew one thing was rea:

I fell in love with you

So deep this connection was, that you've changed everything
From my body, my mind
To my life and soul

It was back in '04
When I first laid my hands on you
I was fresh out of the service
Keen as punch
Ready for a new life

You took me in
You showed me how uneducated
My mind and body were apart
You showed me what I could do
If I only learnt your ways
And learnt to be as one

Since then I've climbed through sweat and hurt
Not because you were unkind
But because I was impatient
You showed me how to be more
I wanted to be more
The world was filled with magic again
Because you've given me wings

You ended a young man's search for meaning
And I will always love you for it
I know that even if I can't go on forever
I will still dedicate my every movement
Each hold I touch
Each foot I grind
It will be my longest kiss goodbye

If I should go, or find that I can't go on
That's ok - I'm ready to let you go
Because love doesn't keep score
And neither did you
You've been the fairest and the kindest
I've given you my all
We both have

We both know, no matter what comes next
I will always be that young man
With the crooked finger
And a pair of hand-me-downs
Chalk scrubbed across my hands
Waiting, wanting
To jump on your walls

Love you always,
Madpoet

Less, Eventually

This labour
Of love
Thus, is Life
This little, big deal

These sands
Endless
Shifting, consuming
My fragmented hearts

Those words
Carefree
My ears
Numb, weighted, old

This love
I will labour
Through this life
Every little big deal

Cheated

All this stolen
Time
In these recycled
Ways

All my tired
Reasons
Against your steeped banks
Crash

All they are, just
Echoes
All along History's
Fault

Lines, they rattle
Waiting
Until they are finally felt
Exhausted

Whatever the ways
Circular
Blinded doom or eventual
Realisation

Learning To Mew

I am a seeker
Restless; relentless
For the Earth, the stars
To begin to become endless

But pay with bruised soul
Twisted tongues whole
Learning love's wicked riddles
Buying everything it sold

Alas, we cannot but stumble
Gracefully, scar by scar
Signs and languages bleeding into blue
The deepest mystery by far

I am a seeker
From the Earth to the stars
Wandering, wondering
Eventually to where you are

Shades of Summer

Sea
Turquoise and blue
These shades of summer
Of you
Brilliant, endless
Full

Sky
The final line
Your quiet decision
Tears
Open, truthful
Still

Sun
Our loyal fool
Constant, relentless
Distant
Yet close enough
Burn

14 to 15

A toast
To hope, progress and love
A promise
To seek and rise above
 
A time
Of renaissance and rapture
A night
To breathe the adventure

A chance
To spill and take in words
A start
Journey North, onwards and upwards