I Don't Know What I Want

I want a lot
No, I want it all 
To adventure and fly 
When I've barely crawled 

I want to do it all in a day
 End to end, full to fuller yet
Because time is a one way stream
A moving, constant, losing bet

 I want to make a life
Inheritance will not suffice
I want to fill and turn it up
Make alchemy of fate's device

I want to be more
Be greater than what I was
To be an inspiration
A life-changing force

I want to be a son
A loyal friend for life
I want to be a good companion
I want you to be my wife

I want to be the story
And move the writer's hands
To know the skies, the oceans
And to trawl the lands

I am told I cannot but choose
Though I refuse my mortality
I resist the crushing incomplete
Story they call reality

So they pushed me around
And told my dreams to stop
Piled on the growing up
Crowded me out with props

I got lost, I tried
The light blocked, blotted out
My mind acquired the habit
Of some permanent pensive pout

Still a hungry heart
Is not easy to play for a fool
A restless force of nature
A curious meandering tool

Now I still want a lot
Though I know not precisely what
 I lie awake at night, just knowing
The importance of making a start

I want to make you something
Though I know not what I want
You see, art is a strange language
That speaks to me, much like chance

I'll start with lines and strokes
Then fill the shades and tones
With paint and some imagination
Until it feels like home

I don't know what I want
But I know I want a lot
And a lot of it comes from you
Because you're all that I've got