Torrent

For the first time in years
I want to write
Not in parts
Not in bits
Not in rhymes
But in lines

I started out on something
That just wouldn't stop
The words just keep coming
Stirring
Torrential emotions
Boiling

How do I start
Could I make it stop
Apprehensive on the first key
My fingers have betrayed me
Quivering
Afraid
Consumed by these feelings

Will they make sense
Would they just be pretend
A show, a silly side game
Upon my heart, my dirty name
Threatening
Deliciously insane

To say that I can't help it
Is true and untrue
To start is uncertain bloom
But to stop is to choke, doomed
Pretending
That I wasn't alreay shaking

Skipping Beats

Smitten
A kitten
Not a good boy
But a heart turned

Touched
Sparked
Not a mark
But a sigh melted

Dreaming
Smiling
Not yet awake
But slowly gasping

Feel these
Beats missed
Not yet ready
But already resisting

Taken
Shaken
Not a kiss
But never forgotten

A touch
So much
Stories and secrets
Erupt in our clutch

Hands

My hands on heart
Promises made
A prized restraint
Forgeit wishes, hopes paid

Your hands on heart
Eyes opened, bright
Careful lips curved
Whispers, a dream already in flight

My hands, your heart
Reluctant, a quiet fear
The shaky ghost of doubt
As your magic becomes clear

Your hands on my heart
Warm against the scars
Claim over untold secrets
Quiet panic black on scarlet stars

Better Than Sorry

From the sky
Why can't these drops
Replace my tears

Closed my eyes
How could he still
See through my fears

Cross the line
Why won't he just
Take it all from me

Instead of smile
His devilish way
To say he's sorry

Can't he tell
That I can't ever
Bring myself
To wish away
These dreams?

So if I could go
On that last drive
Out of my head

Wishing he'd save me
That the show would stop
And turn the page

I'm going
I'm going out
To let go of this story

My empty hands
Your empty smile
Is all better than sorry

Words

Words
How they tickle
And how they hurt

Your words
So right and logical
Can also be so curt

Words
Make a people family
Or separate them from us

A sound
From lips carelessly
Could empty vaults of trust

Words
What they mask
Or show, too easily betray

A truth
Inconvenient, tired
Yet determined to stay

Your words
They came so quickly
Fired from paternity

Closed
Quietly the doors
That we reopen eventually

Promise

All I wanted was love
More than what I was
Rationed to receive

I tried listening and looking
Everywhere that seemed likely
It felt as if I was deceived

And so I promised to love myself
So I would never fall short
And always ready to receive

Alas I still felt lonely
Though laughed and learned
How to survive and deceive

I promised I would start again
And make it on my own
And one day people would see

And that day did come soon
Often they would see and smile
As long as it was what they wanted to believe

Mother's Tears

Have you ever
Thought you were clever
Thought you were smart
That your decision was art

Have you ever
Held back your anger
Held in your breath
Still thinking you were the best

Have you ever
Wanted to live forever
But planned and made
Your own funeral instead

Well I certainly had
When things got mad
And the gaps and wounds
Stretched further than words

I had not, surely
Felt more unworthy
When my mother's tears told
Me how I ruined her world

Worry

There's no need to worry
About how to build this house
I'm sure it'll all come together
When the time comes around

And don't you worry about stories
To fill these empty shelves
Just trust me with your hands
And we'll figure it all out

We'll walk through cold September
Make memories to keep us warm
We'll smile at damp November
We'll sing our way through the storms

Don't frown a brow
Don't crook a smile
Don't worry if we'll make it in time
I know we're on our way some how
Because I love you better now

As the days seed their regrets
Our wrinkles start to show
The trees shed their secrets
In our field of red and gold

Winds and rains touched our senses
And dripped into our hearts
Sometimes we pick up the pieces
While taking turns to fall apart

Now we sit through the cold December
No longer afraid of the storms
Our promises to always remember
To dream our way to the warmth

We've done out time
Put up a fight
Hearts raised up high and dropped back down
I don't keep score but I think we won
I think we love a little better now

Don't frown a brow
Don't crook a smile
Don't worry about when we'll be fine
I know we're on our way some how
Because I'm already know heaven now

Sincerity

Wreckage of a fickle mind
Dreams of day and night
Drunk between two poisons
Lost in the left and right

Placid lake of a subtle heart
Still as a held breath
Watching, always whispering
Ready ears shall know its depth

Born to bear both arts and scars
To wield and suffer reality
Like chambers of a human heart
Separated faces of integrity

Trust this profound simple truth
Try to understand the gravity
The pull of love and grace are but
Just death, with a little sincerity

Ambers

Looking up at the sunset
Smeared across the canyon sky
I know I'll never see the sun
To hear it sigh goodbye

The night yawns lazily across
The hills, the trees, into my eyes
I confront my demons by firelight
At least, I will surely try

Lit on both ends like a twig
Trying, dying to be free
I feel the warmth kiss my skin
But my lonely fingers still freeze

Uninvited but not yet allowed
I sit like embers in the dark
Waiting for your kiss of life
To fill this pit with sparks

No other whisper shall ever do
No other hands have know enough
I sit like embers in the dark
Hoping my fire would be enough

Sitting Here

As I sit here, waiting
Like thousands before me
Some have moved on past
While others stopped to sit

Not stopping, nor rushing
We try to breathe and listen
To the histories around us
And their haunting wisdom

Yes, like thousands before
We too come here to sit
Will we learn to listen
Or take a chance with defeat

For Love Will Not Love You Back

Do it big and bold
Or do it small
Start down the path
Or not at all

Blame it all on love
Say it was beyond control
Accept no blame whatsoever
Watch the drama unfold

Then do something unexpected
Do it in the name of love
In the vain hope that romance
Was truly sent from above

Just remember these words
Just stop there in your steps
You can do what you want
But love won't love you back

Not in the way you hoped
Not like your glittery dreams
Love will make you a proud king
Or break you at a whim

So do it in the name of love
Do it however way you feel
When you play the games of love
It's hard to tell what's real

Steady your impatient hands
And clear your noise heart
These beats that keep you up at night
Is but scripted theater art

We're all just actors on love's stage
Playing out all our parts
While imitating life and art
Lost and loosing from the start

Soundtrack Of My Sunday

Today's winding roads
May take you places
You didn't want to go

Tomorrow we're on our own
Can't remember faces and
Things that I should know

But in the blink of the eyes
And a flutter of the lips
Before I could stop
The chill from your finger tips

Not that I would back out
Or ever back down
I just don't want to miss out

Hand On Heart

Calloused
Yet still feeling
Stiffened
Though still bending

Bruised
But not yet broken
Coarse
Though not abrasive

Tough
You can still cut me
Strong enough
Only to shape my destiny

Lonely
Though never seen alone
Opened wide
Know that it's never empty

If I held it out
Would you take it?
Not my hands
But my heart, gently

Mongolian Sunrise

For you:

Bright as a flame
A passionate wave
Warm as the sun
To chase the nights away

On rope, on sight
On the skin of our souls
Your hands are passports
To dreams not yet told

The red on your crown
They hint of a legacy
One that only you can write
In the language of love and glory


Happy Birthday!

What Remains

This is what remains
After the day is done
This is what's left of me
What the night finally comes

Frayed wits
A tarnished crown
A Frizzled mane
That's hard to tame

The smell of day
Spiked in dust
A heart's hinges
Hampered by rust

Still onwards step
Hands, knees and feet
Eyes cast forth, stern
To hope's beat we keep

One

Each heart bears a beat
From the moment of creation
To the inevitable retreat
Each beat is a step, a vision

Have you ever felt your heart
Become full, restless and alive
You were sure you could fly
You'd give anything a try

Have you ever felt that same heart
Grow desperate, quiet and old
Dark beyond the coming night
Wishing somehow, that you could be bold

Some days our hearts do falter
Though they try to keep the peace
The flutter of little wonders
Help the wounds feel more at ease

Oh for hours days and weeks we go
Buzzing like there's nothing wrong
Looking but not seeing this
A hint we've avoided all along

Our hearts have always been one
And two does not make it more
There were no halves to speak of
And love never kept any scores

When the world and words are done
And we return to ourselves again
It's how close we have come back to one
And helped others to become the same

One is not a lonely or special number
We all have one heart and one soul
We start from one and have to lose
Just so that we can become whole

So touch your heart gently today
And understand that from creation
To our eventual retirement
The truthful beat has been constant

Feel and remember that each heart
Has once been full, ready and alive
From one we've come, and to return
Each beat is a hope, a ticket to life

Never

Someone oh so long ago
Wrote a note that told me to
Never give up on your dreams
Never stop trying to be

And so I spent my years
Mainly sleeping just to dream
And learning to be someone else
I wasn't too good, it seemed

As I blundered on in life
I found another note that told me
Never stop your searching
Always use your heart to see

And so I spent my years
Just looking for the signs
That would never come
And found that love was really blind

Stumbled, falling, crawling
Through this life again
I found another voice telling me
Something about never again

Before the words could finish
I swore I'd never make it anyway
And stood up, turned about to go
Arms reached out and asked me to stay

For every Never the voice said
I found a reason for my escape
Back and forth we tossed this blade
Until we both were running red

That's when I turned around to see
Who I was hurting and refusing
Then I saw that it was me
But older wiser, with poorer vision

I stopped my youthful resistance
Felt the tears about to flow
But instead all I managed to say
Was a weak, "Don't let me go"

This old man right in front of me
Just asked for two more minutes
Of our time, both his and mine
To share a heart and what was in it

Never stop your dreaming
Because I couldn't stop remembering
How it was to be like you
So much to fight, so promising

Never stop your searching
Because the answers will never come
They'll run and hide away from you
Until your lessons are done

Never stop your believing
Because love is a fickle mistress
She will test and tease and promise you
She is not easily impressed

Never stop settle, or give in
To lesser or to easy things
Why be a poor old man like me
Than live like you, a future king

Never, never forget about me
Though you might regret this encounter
Grow old with me and treat me good
For I will one day be in your mirror

And so I spent my life
Still stumbling through life
But quite clear now what I must do
In sun or rain, in love or strife

To never stop, and never give in
To fight, to hope and to believe
But most of all, I remember him
That old man and his precious gift

Time

Give time and take time
Her sands, drops and ways
We cannot keep or hold
Only to share these given days

In time we have found happiness
With time we learn to be sad
Yet in time, we are already forgiven
Brothers, sisters; love that was shared

It's the little things, like sand
That pass our hands in vain
Some grains shall stay in our palms
In time, never to be the same again

Give time and take time
As we go along our ways
Try to keep and hold on to each memory
As you share it with each given day

Used To Be

Used to be
That ice-cream
Was made and sent
From the skies above

Used to be
That some coins
Were all you needed
To get some of that love

Used to be
That coffee was fresh
Was unpretentiously black
And could only be brewed

Used to be
That this goodness
Came only in china cups
Not from machines or uniformed crew

Used to be
That nobody could
Truly judge books
By their worn simple covers

Used to be
That authors
Did not just create stories
But created worlds and lives asunder

Used to be
That music was a gift
Choosing only a few
To inspire and move all others

Used to be
That ears could listen
To the daily music everywhere
And marvel at their wonder

Used to be
That these feet
Would walk, run freely
When we said, "come over"

Used to be
That these hearts
Were always open
To talk and sing with others

Used to be
That Love was simple
A secret language
Known only be lovers

Used to be
That I sleep easy
Through the night
To awake, rise and start over

Used to be
That I could wake
Beside you, thinking
There's no need to start over

Used to be
That happiness
Was what it seemed
Was whenever you looked closer

Used to be
Oh it used to be
All quite good
Until I started growing older

Used to be
We were used to it
But it's time now
To once again learn to start over