Never

Someone oh so long ago
Wrote a note that told me to
Never give up on your dreams
Never stop trying to be

And so I spent my years
Mainly sleeping just to dream
And learning to be someone else
I wasn't too good, it seemed

As I blundered on in life
I found another note that told me
Never stop your searching
Always use your heart to see

And so I spent my years
Just looking for the signs
That would never come
And found that love was really blind

Stumbled, falling, crawling
Through this life again
I found another voice telling me
Something about never again

Before the words could finish
I swore I'd never make it anyway
And stood up, turned about to go
Arms reached out and asked me to stay

For every Never the voice said
I found a reason for my escape
Back and forth we tossed this blade
Until we both were running red

That's when I turned around to see
Who I was hurting and refusing
Then I saw that it was me
But older wiser, with poorer vision

I stopped my youthful resistance
Felt the tears about to flow
But instead all I managed to say
Was a weak, "Don't let me go"

This old man right in front of me
Just asked for two more minutes
Of our time, both his and mine
To share a heart and what was in it

Never stop your dreaming
Because I couldn't stop remembering
How it was to be like you
So much to fight, so promising

Never stop your searching
Because the answers will never come
They'll run and hide away from you
Until your lessons are done

Never stop your believing
Because love is a fickle mistress
She will test and tease and promise you
She is not easily impressed

Never stop settle, or give in
To lesser or to easy things
Why be a poor old man like me
Than live like you, a future king

Never, never forget about me
Though you might regret this encounter
Grow old with me and treat me good
For I will one day be in your mirror

And so I spent my life
Still stumbling through life
But quite clear now what I must do
In sun or rain, in love or strife

To never stop, and never give in
To fight, to hope and to believe
But most of all, I remember him
That old man and his precious gift

Time

Give time and take time
Her sands, drops and ways
We cannot keep or hold
Only to share these given days

In time we have found happiness
With time we learn to be sad
Yet in time, we are already forgiven
Brothers, sisters; love that was shared

It's the little things, like sand
That pass our hands in vain
Some grains shall stay in our palms
In time, never to be the same again

Give time and take time
As we go along our ways
Try to keep and hold on to each memory
As you share it with each given day

Used To Be

Used to be
That ice-cream
Was made and sent
From the skies above

Used to be
That some coins
Were all you needed
To get some of that love

Used to be
That coffee was fresh
Was unpretentiously black
And could only be brewed

Used to be
That this goodness
Came only in china cups
Not from machines or uniformed crew

Used to be
That nobody could
Truly judge books
By their worn simple covers

Used to be
That authors
Did not just create stories
But created worlds and lives asunder

Used to be
That music was a gift
Choosing only a few
To inspire and move all others

Used to be
That ears could listen
To the daily music everywhere
And marvel at their wonder

Used to be
That these feet
Would walk, run freely
When we said, "come over"

Used to be
That these hearts
Were always open
To talk and sing with others

Used to be
That Love was simple
A secret language
Known only be lovers

Used to be
That I sleep easy
Through the night
To awake, rise and start over

Used to be
That I could wake
Beside you, thinking
There's no need to start over

Used to be
That happiness
Was what it seemed
Was whenever you looked closer

Used to be
Oh it used to be
All quite good
Until I started growing older

Used to be
We were used to it
But it's time now
To once again learn to start over

Night

The night
She is my friend
Here with me
Always waiting, patient

The night
She is my lover
Holding me
Always intimate, touching

The night
She is a temptress
With her dreams
Always so real, teasing

The night
She is your shadow
Separated by light
But always true, following

This night
She is a messenger
A whisper from you
Always pleasant, indulgent

Alas, this darkness
She cannot be you
Though she never pretended
To be less lovely, or beautiful

This night
She holds my heart
Incomplete
Like a shadow without the light

When You Know

When you know
That books are best
Read by an open fire

When you know
That stories are best
Told from the heart

When you know
The best part about
Wine is the company

When you know
That nothing is sweeter
Than unfulfilled desire

When you know
That souls are brightest
When they struggle

That light is right
Only when it is dark
And you are needing

When you know
That beauty grows
Only when it is not hidden

Because no flowers
Could ever bloom
In the shade of possession

Then you'll know
Maybe just begin
To start to fall in love

Storm

The storm that was us
The words that we used
In rain we shed our anger
In the dark, our hearts confused

Standing, against the noise
Burdened by these dreams
We move closer to the edge
Our love tearing at the seams

Was I blind to your trouble
Did I find it hard to resist
The heartaches, pain and breaks
I took as evidence that love exists

In sheets, this thundering rain
The rising smell of bittersweet
Our fingers laced and tore apart
Again and again, love and defeat

This chaotic constellation
Our battered souls and hearts
Wrapped and rolled in madness
Nothing like how it was at the start

How is it only now that we remember
All the things we could not see
When in the storm we were not us
But now, apart, we can finally be?

It's the storming that we remember
But all the little things we miss
Now apart and away on our islands
We regret and hang on to these

When shall the heavens show again
When comes the sun to stop the rain
Apart, between the hands and the heart
We stand, like weary night watchmen

When Love Has Forgottened About You

You see someone
You'd love to hold
You see a heart
You'd love to know

But you see someone
Already in that place
You see someone
Loving that face

When you feel
Like there's no plan
And love has forgotten
Left you where you stand

Don't walk away
Don't walk away
Not yet
Don't walk away

I've been afraid
To tell you
That when you see someone
I only see you

I've been wrong
About losing you
When holding back
We would never know

So when you feel
Like there's no plan
And love has forgotten
Left you where you stand

Just turn around
Right where you've sighed
Just take my hand
We could yet make this right

Don't walk away
Don't walk away
Not yet
Don't walk away

Memory

I heard your name today
They asked how you were doing
But I could hardly even hear them
Over the sound of my heart thumping

All at once the memories
They came rushing back
How we used to laugh, used to run
Our hand in hand

I quickly searched my face
For a good excuse to answer
Said that you were doing great
But inside I knew I was a liar

How could you be great
After where we have been
Tearing down dark alleys
Lost and lonely now we stand

And so I turned to go
Like how you say I do
Hiding the pain in my eyes
So they won't know the truth

I know that I don't have
Much more to hold on
I would tell them all about
How we went wrong

As I step outside
Into the cold damp air
My hands still shaking
While my eyes just stared

I feel you
With every breath I take
The living rock in my heart
Our memories, oh they ache

All we wanted
Was for this to work
But what we got
Was love and hurt

And the memories
And the memories

Nothing

When I stand here with you
When we're here close together
I remember all the words
And how we used to whisper

Oh those days and nights
We swore would never end
But now on the sidewalk
It's the hurt that I can't pretend


I still feel a shiver in my hand
When you hold me near
With my fingers in your hair
It brings me close to tears

How did we ever
End up so far apart
Throwing in the towel
Before the time was up

You say that you'll wait
For me to come around
And that you've made up your mind
Never to let me down

Oh, if you could only
Read my heart right now
I loved you but this love has
Left me with nothing (nothing)


We stumbled through
Almost three years we've taken
From a twist and fearful start
To the fireworks we were making

All along those streets
And dreams that we have shared
Hiding all the tears and words
That make us now despair


How could I shake this shiver
When you hold me near
The thought that we're all over
Brings me close to tears

How did we ever
End up so far apart
Throwing in the towel
Before the time was up

You say that you'll wait
For me to come around
And that you've made up your mind
Never to let me down

Oh, if you could only
Read my heart right now
I loved you but this love has
Left me with nothing


Oh, nothing. Nothing.

The Hardest Part

Perhaps the hardest part
Of living
Is the fear
Of losing it all

Perhaps the hardest part
Of losing
Is the anguish
Of picking up pieces

Perhaps the hardest part
Of picking up
Is the aching
Reflected in every wound

Then yet comes healing
Oh, so slowly
Is the tingling
An impatience or infection

Yet the harder part
Of healing
Is the wait
Before moving on

Perhaps the hardest part
Of it all
Is the choice
To always live, love and forgive

Cropped Stopped

Clipped wings
Though for a day
For any bird
Would seem a lifetime

Cropped short
My mane is no longer
My crown
Lynched and shamed

Burned black
My eyes hot with anger
The reins
Have been lashed again

Nameless
This cause we're sold
An idea
Noble, until it unfolds

Fruitless
The stubborn sparks of hope
Ignite again
Against stoned jaded souls

Disappointed
In the rewards for the just
Frustrated
By systemic pessimistic rust

I concede
That I may heed your orders once
My loyalty
Will not be easily earned

Not until
There is more than just a promise
At last
We speak not only to your shadow

Things I Learnt From My Father

He showed me what it was
To finally learn forgiveness
A 28 year lesson
I finally did learn

Now I have the grace
To watch his face
Forget how we had once
Fallen far from grace

Scribed on sand
The lines will wash away

One day it'll come by time
And turn to stand there
On the edge of hope
And the unknown

I'll remember all the
Lessons from my father
And teach my son
To write it on

Tell your kids the stories
That your father told you
Pay it forward
Like an idea when it's due

Teach them how to dance
And find their voice
Teach them how
To make a choice

Never be afraid to say
No, or I was wrong

One day it'll come by time
And turn to stand there
On the edge of hope
And the unknown

I'll remember all the
Lessons from my father
And help my son
To write his song

Earned

Of a heart, though alive
One half alone is cold
The other is to be earned
Said Love, from which I stole

There can be some forgiveness
Your half is yours to keep
This other you must earn
From the lessons that you weep

I'm sorry, my dear
These steps I take now
There's been just too much pain
I've lost it all some how

I believe you love me very much
Maybe in time I'll really know
But when words and actions live divorced
Our love child lay abandoned so

A fresh start is not possible
It scares me when you ask
I remember all our fresh starts before
And how we have taken them to task

How we tore down what we built
How we burned each other with guilt
Angry words and actions spite the soil
That made our love seed wilt

A fight against a gust of wind
An argument with echoes
In back and forth we push and pull
To overcome these woes

Alas you cannot change the tide
Nor stop the sun or rain
I've lost my will to fight
To war against your lovely pain

So I give up, give in
I made my choice to surrender
I confess my crimes to love
And await the lonely hammer

Love

When the Gods
Speak of Love
They speak of life
And her truth and magic

When a couple
Speaks of Love
They share in life
And shape themselves by it

When a woman
Speaks of Love
She looks on life
With heart and hope romantic

When I, a man
Think of Love
I remember You
Life's beautiful creature

Your playful eyes
Lips of subtle poetry
Your loving heart
How they quietly inspire

Alas, these thoughts
Memories and dreams
They haunt this quiet
These spaces in between

Until Love's coming
When you again shall light
This soul and leave no mark
But a lingering kiss within

Away

Run away
Into the skies
Let it fly away
Beyond these lies

Let the bitter talk
The idle walks
Just go
Alone

If the black
Is what they try
To spread
To our bones

Then it's anger
Only anger
They will
Know

We'll be running
We'll be flying
Our hands
Held close

So baby let them go
When the day
It hasn't kissed
You dear

They'll never know
That I'm right here
Waiting, ready for
You dear

When it's been tough
Oh hell, we know
We can't always
Share it

The look in your eyes
You're strong and
You try to
Hide it

You won't have to say
A word, no you don't
Need to say
It hurts

Just raise your glass
Up to your spirit
To your lips with
Love's words

And I will know, oh
Yes, we both know
At a touch
We must

Run away
Into our eyes
Let it fall away
From us tonight

For One More Time

She lies awake
Toss and turning in the dark
Wondering why things
Got to be so hard

(He's always so far)
Why is it that we got time for fighting
But never got time for loving
They only seem to talk
When tears are bursting out


He picks up the phone
For the 7th time tonight
He' trying his best
With these struggles in his life

(But he don't know how)
How to make it right and stop all the fights
Pick the pieces up and make it through the night
He's trying his best
But man, these times are hard


We could never stop this
Drifting on between the lines
When nothing works out right
Seems like we're always out of time

Smiling on through the tears
Holding out against the fears
All you got is hinged on a feeling
That one day, the sun's going to shine


Now it's my turn to lie awake
In the dead of night
The sound of heartbreak
Echoes through my mind

(I don't know how)
How to build this bridge across this ocean
Reaching out inspite of the hurt and frustration
Dusting myself off
Crawling back for one more time


We could never stop this
Drifting on between the lines
When nothing works out right
Seems like we're always out of time

Smiling on through the tears
Holding out against the fears
All you got is hinged on a feeling
That one day, the sun's going to shine


Oh, don't forsake our hearts
Yeah, they're making us crazy
Love and pain always hazy

Oh, hold on to our hearts
Yeah, we'll find our way baby
Love is more than a maybe

Go

From the beginning
This will be a fight
A slow personal struggle
To get everything right

At the beginning
Before our blood rose
With deliberate harness
Our will upon our toes

Let go, no weights
Shall slow us down
Let go, no fear
Shall matter now

Our fingers like soldiers
Rythmic and hard
March on each step
To the beat of our hearts

These arms shall muster
The serpents of fate
Whose colours follow close
Our fall their await

Let go, feel the beat
As we coil to strike
Let go, it is time
Our heart raised in flight

Honestly

Have you had ever had
A feeling so deep
Your soul could cry
Even if asleep

I tingle with this feeling
Each time I pass that way
Each time I pass that hill
Since we met that day

I took a turn again today
The second time around
A way I didn't need
As if I heard a sound

A whisper, perhaps
A tug at my soul
From the void of memory
And into my world

Honestly, I miss you
But I am now afraid
While you are there
I stay put and wait

Not for a call
But for a sign
A quiet stuboorn hope
That I am still alive

What we would have given
For love and its consequence
What we'd never know
Of life and its coincidence

When the next step up
Speaks of duty and faith
When the next step beyond
Is closer to the edge

The edge of me
The edge of imagination
To grab you by the dreams
Into a new religion

This step that we could make
Our dig at ever after
Too soon? Too long?
I'm afraid of what's after

I took that turn today
Perhaps I will again one day
And I will still hear that sound
Of a heart that cannot be bound

Enough

When today was not enough
When love leaves you wanting
When you find it tough
And your heart feels fast sinking

Wise you already shall be
Should you consider slowly
With calm heart and hands
To part the fog firmly

Our souls have much strength
Our hearts much forgiveness
If we should still be kind
When today was not enough

Complete

Let passion burn you
And dreams bear truth
May love be in your favour
And kindness keep you

Perhaps most of all
I hold with faith still
That love shall seek you out
And she shall complete you

All this I can do without
More than I forgave
No more shall I want
Not my soul to save

But for you, love
For you it shall be
That roses were for you
And the thorns, for me

Hands of Time (1)

At the turn of a sigh
A life will be taken
With no gun and no knife
But small decisions

These are the things we feared
They would happen
These were the things we swore
We'd never be

Given the gradual
Touch by the hands of time
Before it's time to leave
We eventually see

In the view of what's right
Action must be taken
We punch and we fight
Till we hear our truth spoken

In defence of our fears
In revenge for our tears

These are the things we said
That would happen
These were the things we swore
We'd never be

Given the gradual
Turn by the hands of time
When it's time to leave
We hope we will see

The verge of madness draws nearer
The light and dark as one

We mend our ways with fervour
In hope we're not too late

These are the things we sought
Not to happen
These were the times we learnt
To let things be

Given the cleansing
Touch by the hands of time
When it's time to leave
We will come to see

Young Love

Today I felt
A youthful mind
Her secret language
Of whats and whys

About the wind
Rain, stars and sky
About animals
And bugs that fly

She saw pretty things
Dared to laugh out loud
She saw ugly things
And did the same

She asked me why
I knew everything
All the while staring
As if into my brain

We played and she learnt
About this world
While I held high
My guilty pride

For while we played
It was she who taught
While letting me
Pretend to guide

You see, she's young
While I feel old
Pretending that
It mattered not

I think, she'll grow up
Faster than she knows
Alas, slowly
The apple's core will rot

My time and meandering
Story line
For years, like rocks
Developed mould

I shielded myself
Against the fears
I slowly let
My heart grow cold

Do not give up
Give in, or give out
I've learnt to keep
So very still

To stand like grass
Against the storms
To hide a soul
That was slowly ill

I thought for years
That I was fine
When I've lost
My will to be alive

Until I felt
Her youthful mind
An inspiration
That was only nine

Today I loved
A youthful mind
Her secret language
Of smiles and laughs

She asked me to tell
Everything I knew
And in return, she
Showed me all about love

Parallel

I miss how the strum
Of your words
Fall on my ears
Through to my heart

So inspired to live
Without hope
Of living without
Your love as an art

My world was complete
Inside your eyes
Your smouldering sigh
Of pure Autumn gold

So clearly you see
I believed
All along
That we'd never be wrong

For you, I believed in a fairy tale
For you, I believed in a fairy tale
With you, I belived in a fairy world
With you, I would try


One night I received
A dream
A whisper of hope
That you'd be the end

The end to my questions
The doubts
The whos and the whens
With your touch I'd mend

But I woke to find
You were gone
Already awake
And staring away

That's when I knew
That I had loved
Given too much
I was too scared to stay

Because you had become my fairy tale
I had built up my fairy world
To keep you safe like a pearl
Only you, could make me cry


Nothing could change
The way we once were
Not him, or Him
Or any other lover

Still I lie awake
And long to hear
Your gentle dreams
Of home in my ear

I remember

That you were more than a fairy tale
That I was part of your fairy world
Now you've grown beyond just a fairy girl
It's your time to fly

God-less

They came here to share
What One had spoken
They told me that all wrongs
Would now be forgiven

I heard how they called
To faces unseen
Their voices sang praises
Both aloud and within

They asked for me to pray
They asked for me to try
They offered me new ways
To leave my doubts behind

I looked upon their faces
I could see no lie
I smiled my awkward answer
But envied their burning eyes

I played my part and followed
I stepped on to their beats
A heart that once was hollow
Is trying to be complete

Alas, their faces have shown
That I did not do well
I could not hide my yearning gaze
My struggles they could tell

There were so many questions
That kept my door closed tight
I've had too many friends
Like reason, doubt and pride

I parted feeling God-less
Not fit or meant-to-be
I wondered about my lost ticket
For their spritirual journey

For them it must be simple
A complete divine surrender
I wondered how I should have felt
When I received their offer

Should I stop this believing
In all that's here and now?
Could I ever give up this magic
Through reason which I've found?

One day Love came around the same
And offered me her ways
Again I smiled my answer
To her come-what-may

Alas and again we parted
My door stood tightly shut
Her key could not undo the hurt
Or fill a missing part

I swore I'd not do this again
She swore she'd never stop
A promise to keep trying
Like waves against the rocks

Could love and God be one
My door has kept shut out?
Condemned to search an eternity
Before the key is found?

Today I still feel God-less
Not fit or meant-to-be
I wonder about my lost ticket
And Love's promise to me

A New Year

It's 20 past the one
As I write this line
I know it's getting late
But who's keeping the time?

Today we let it go
Today we'll stay up late
To usher out the unrenewed
And welcome fresh Spring fate

In lights or in red
In tradition's buzzing glee
Some shake, some touch
And some we simply let be

For not all gaps or rivers
Were meant for us to bridge
Just as lovers will fight
Before love's bounty reached

Hands and arms held open
Or closed in bowed greeting
Let us receive this canvas
Of shades that we all bring

So out not only with the old
And cheer not only for the new
But keep instead a heart so bold
With dreams and living, fresh as dew

Happy Birthday, P!

Today we age a little more
Some lines, some stories
And some behind the doors

Just yesterday
We thought
We knew and wanted more

Today we know
We love
And kept our scores

So let these candles
Chatter
And dance and soar

Happy birthday, babe
Our gift shall peer
Through love's open door

Desperate

Is it too late
Could this be fate?
You know I'd do anything
Just to be your date

But where we are now
Who we have become
Are we condemned to be free
Or will our time ever come?

Is it too late
Or must I still wait
Even when I haven't felt more
Sure of anyone to-date

The Way It Goes

There were some days
When all I'd do is play
In search of something new

Though it was fun
Those days in the sun
One of them led me to you

One day I'd found
Your whispers haunting me
And thoughts of you to hold

But the days passed by
They moved so quickly
And I left you in the cold

That's the way that our love goes
Build it up just to let it go
Let the leaves fall outside our windows
We'll live fast just to die slow
That's why we let go

I had a dream
That you came back to me
After all that I've put you through

You said, "go get a grip
Don't you ever quit
I'm not leaving until we're through"

Then all the times
When it seemed impossible
That we would find our way home

All those times
You stood in silence, holding
My hand just to stay strong

They said, "there is a way,
Back to yesterday;
There's a way for us to be good."

So just yesterday
I started to pray
That what they had said was true

There were times
It seemed impossible
For us to find a way home

And through the fire
We figured we'd be fine
As long as we don't let go

That's the way that the world goes
Spinning past before you know
Though the doors and windows have closed
We're fast but still we're too slow

The Other End Of The Sheets

She likes chasing fire flies
Insists that she is shy
She'll wake at seven just so to stay in bed

She can't seem to sit down still
Eat shellfish until she's ill
She'll say it's hot and then almost catch a chill

She'll never give into her dreams
She'd rather work it out slowly
The rocks and trees she touches
Make more sense than destiny
But she'll throw it all away
Just for me

I like sipping on red wine
Go climbing on a line
Or spend the day curled up to a book instead

I'd jump right into a chance
To make music or to dance
With or without shoes I'd not care what they say

I'd love to lose myself to dreams
And run along with their journeys
I'd rather stay awake
And waste my time instead of sleep
Because this life is
Never what it seems


Like two bright revolving stars
We've travelled oh so far
To spin across the sheets from cheek to cheek

We know it's easy to believe
To draw the lines that don't meet
In time we'll roll from opposite
Ends of the sheet
Then there'll be no need for
Counting silly sheep

Angelic Nothing

My angel said
"It's getting light,"
I wished that somehow
Dawn would come without the night

Before I gave in
Resigned to stay tired
Before I grieved
For prayers unanswered

"Don't say a word
It's alright that we're quiet,"
My angel seemed
To read my mind

"A gift I will give to you
Money and time won't buy
When words, they don't travel
You can give it a try

It's both big, and it's little
It's an end, and a start
It's all, and it's nothing
I give the language of my heart."

My angel's words stitched me
Like silver needles fine
Across my living patch-work
In a bold defiant line

I wanted to say thank you
Wanted to ask why
She should grant me such gift
In spite of my crimes

But alas, my angel flew
With less than a goodbye
She left as she had come
Upon my lonely sigh

Above the Wreckage (a poem)

Take some time to count your fortunes
Know that nothing here will last
Neither have they been elusive
Fading fast, fast

Don't waste your beautiful
Your beautiful life
Don't fall behind under
These tides of strife, down here

Now, you must rise above the wreckage
Up from dark times before
See it all fall away around you
See it fall, fall

Don't hold these wings in chains
These practical chains
Open these hands and let
The wind carry you away, away

Deep

I long to lie beside you

I long to come alive

In your arms again

Wine was our secret language

But no words were needed

To convince me to stay

It was all you needed

To take me in

I'm helpless tonight

Surrendered to your charm

Seduced by your gentle

Kisses against my arm

Please tell me tonight

You miss what we have shared

And it was more than just

A dream inside my head

Crashing down

Reaching out

For your tenderness

Your gracefulness

We've barely scratched the surface

Or have we gone so deep that

We've both lost our ways

If I'm lost inside you

I'd be contented just to

Stay this way

Let you be all

I'll ever need

I'm helpless tonight
Surrendered to your charm
Seduced by your gentle
Kisses against my arm

Please show me tonight
That you miss what we have shared
And it wasn't nothing more than
Voices round my head

And I'll come reaching out

Without a doubt
To keep this tenderness

With a gentle kiss

Sand

Your eyes they look right through me
Your smile it seems to say you've given in
We'd fallen for each other
A memory that wouldn't fade away

With the rush
We broke the hush

YOU CARRIED ME DOWN
WARMLY IN YOUR ARMS
BURIED AND HELPLESS
SWIRLING IN YOUR CHARM

YOU CAN'T TELL ME NOW
ALL THAT WE HAVE MADE
WAS NOTHING MORE THAN SAND
WITHIN OUR HANDS

SLIPPING OUT
SLIPPING OUT
JUST LIKE SAND
WE WERE JUST LIKE SAND

Since then our corners wore off
Our edgy began to fade away
Often at night I've wondered
How we had come to throw it all away

But in the end
Our hearts will mend

TO CARRY US DOWN
THROUGH THE HOURGLASS
LOST AND DISTRACTED
WAITING FOR OUR TIME TO PASS

HELP ME TONIGHT
THIS VOICE WITHIN MY HEAD
WAS EVERYTHING YOUR TOUCH
HAD EVER SAID

SLIPPING OUT
RUNNING OUT
THROUGH MY HANDS
NOTHING MORE THAN SAND

Please turn it around
Leave me with some hope
Cos I can't remember
Ever falling this far

Before you leave tonight
Remember all we had
Wasn't nothing more
Than noise inside our heads

Fading out
Slipping out
We can't pretend
Through our hands


I long to wake beside you
To turn and reach out
For your hand again

Solitude

When it's over
When it's time
There'll be no bells
No angel choirs

Nor the tinkle
Of shattered pieces
Slipping through
Guilty fingers

There may be tears
There'll be emotions
Words exchanged
Blows felt

But there'll always
Be solitude
An empty quiet
That lays in wait

No noise, no peace
Just emptiness
A sense of loss
A growing hole

When it's over
There'll be no prayers
No mercy for me
None for the in-between

Crash

I tried to forget about it
I tried my best to ignore it
To keep it out, away
This pain within


Got lost again while trying
From searching now I'm crawling
Fell fast and hard, away
I've crashed again


But in our rush
We got lost


Carry me home
Don't let me fall apart
When the rain is gone
Won't you keep me warm


Leave your light on
To guide me on the way
Something I can rely on
To turn the night into the day


The night may pass
The heart will last
We'll live through the crash

I've tried to reason the heart
I've tried to try the ways
I've tried to go down easy
But I just can't win

I couldn't stop your tears fallen
When each promise lay broken
You've been through hell
For my lofty sin

But in our rush
We lay crashed

A Haunting Love

Was it you
Who looked me right in the eyes
And said that you
Would never see me cry

Was it me
Who reached out for your hand
And said that we
Would never say goodbye

In between we've lived
Through heaven
And burning hell
Refusing to let this die

When one was in pain
Another would wish
To take their place
To soothe the hurt, or just try

Would we have thought
That when no one else
Could or would understand
The stroy behind why we cry

When all we knew
Feels all so temporary
Fragile tenderness
Like a bird waiting to fly

Put out your heart
And rest your hands
On our ethereal love
And let the world pass on by

And remember
It was you, and it was me
Who said, hush now
This truth is only yours and mine

Music

When dusty souls
That have oft wandered
And turned every corner
In search of worthy wonder

Driven by hunger
Pursued by yearning
Hearts that refused quiet
To feel the fire burning

But alas the night oft falls
In a silent guilty hush
To leave no gold or silver
After the blur of day's rush

Let not your ears and heart
Lay down their arms
To give in or up in the silence
Against all that may come

There shall be one
A magic though small
It would still move
Each heart she calls

Listen! To all the things
She is trying to say
Let the music in your soul
And she won't be far away

Let each beat urge your heart
Each note dance for you
Each crescendo bring you close
And feel her warmth bring you home

Music, oh how she still moves
In mysterious ways
To sing along and away
These nights into days

Come take me away
Please take me away
Through the nights and days
Please say that you'll stay

Dreaming In Red

I had a dream, once
I was in an alley, smoking
On a dank November night
Under a old streetlamp, waiting

Your set had just started
I could hear the trumpet sighing
You should be in the wings now
A pearl in this dark clam stirring

Today, you are a passionate red
Your marble skin and crown opaline
But each time I feel you pass
I still drown in your sultry wine

I dragged out deep
On my only thread to sanity
The smoke from my cigarette
Calm the nervous soul within

It is jazz of Shanghai that you sing
But hints of abandon that you give
Each night I help you to the stage
Each night you give me a little more to live

Under the orange glow, I linger
Dreaming to your whisky-laced purr
Wishing that there was a way
For me to take you away from here

No more nights at seedy joints
No more parading to the wolves
Though somehow I think you know
Your appetite I could never soothe

Ever since I had that dream
It’s never been the same
I heard your sighing everywhere
And my soul whispers your name

The Heart

We've always looked to the skies
And to things our eyes cannot see
With hands and borrowed words
We'll try to keep our hearts afloat


But there'll be no startling signs
That fate has finally found me
No thunder breaks above
No holy script to serve


You told me the heart will prove it all
It'll make the sense within
Even as the mountains wear and fall
Let our faith build the bridges in between


Beyond seasons, the time and tide
As wrinkles claw our skin
We'll stand true with our hearts beating alive
Let truth become our guide

But I remember black skies
The night that fell around me
I remember the cold
How my heart began to hurt

I searched with prayers
That you will finally find me
When it all began to blur
Your voice was all I heard

You told me the heart will prove it all
It'll make the sense within
Even reason shall bend and fail
Let the beats build the bridges in between

Beyond seasons, the time and tide
As sands sweep across our skin
We'll stand true with one beating rhyme
And let our hearts be our guide

Music: How She Still Moves Me

When dusty souls
That have oft wandered
And turned every corner
In search of worthy wonder

Driven by hunger
Pursued by yearning
Hearts that refused quiet
To feel the fire burning

But alas the night oft falls
In a silent guilty hush
To leave no gold or silver
After the blur of day's rush

Let not your ears and heart
Lay down their arms
To give in or up in the silence
Against all that may come

There shall be one
A magic though small
It would still move
Each heart she calls

Listen! To all the things
She is trying to say
Let the music in your soul
And she won't be far away

Let each beat urge your heart
Each note dance for you
Each crescendo bring you close
And feel her warmth bring you home

Music, oh how she still moves
In mysterious ways
To sing along and away
These nights into days

Come take me away
Please take me away
Through the nights and days
Please tell me you'll stay

Twilight Rose

Twilight rose
Oh, twilight rose
I love your enigma
How it soothes my soul

Against a crown
Of purple white clouds
You shyly peek
Your whiskey brow

Warm, yes you are
You touch me so
With a sincere blush
Trimmed in gold

Twilight rose
Please say that you'll stay
I know that you'll come
Only once on each day

In such sweet rapture
We meet for just a while
But you'll always go
Leaving me your sorbet smile

Twilight rose
Oh, twilight rose
Please come back
I miss you so

Lullaby

Stoned, cold
These eyes glazed over
Thin, worn
These hands feel older

Like blood on snow

A soul is tainted

Irreversible

Cold and jaded

But no, not you

You kept me awake

With touch and smiles

I heard you say

When twilight comes
It'll bring a beginning
See how far we've come
Our hearts still beating

Put your hand in mine
We'll keep on dreaming
With time and tide
We'll keep on flowing

But if you fear or fall behind
I'll sing to you this lullaby
To keep you safe from the dark
Until again you're ready to try

The Old Flame

It's been too long since
I've touched these keys
They're dusted over
Just like these dreams

But on a pre-dawn morning
A thought struck me
A sentient arrow
A rekindled memory

Of a certain flame
Of a certain name
Of a certain heart
That refused to be tamed

And so I sought you out
Searched the sky
For your cloud
And yes, your words they
Still burn bright

There Must Be More

I'll break these chains
I'll dust these ties
Like an idea prime
I won't be denied

For long we have stayed
On much we have waited
Before our hearts
Has all but become jaded

Let the tired sun set
Pay it no mind
For it's the dawn that we prepare
The coming of our time

This Song Has No Words

A tune stands alone
Contemplative and free
Without the burdens
Of any lyrical duties

Her form is flowing
Her soul pulses strong
A secret chime of a mandolin
Outlines her heart's song

A choir of clean strings
They join in step now
Chopping, a slow storm
Brewing, they drum a sound

I watch from beyond
Can't ignore the sound
I feel my pulse quicken
And my feet can't touch the ground

Bells, then a heavenly choir
They climb, they call out above
By her command
With her, a pulsing nerve

Like a wild wind blowing
Channeled through my doors
She whispers a storm
That explodes to a roar

She goes on, and on, and on
She won't let me go
And I don't want anything else
My world was paved in gold

She has no name (she says so)
Her soul bears no words
And she makes not signs
But whirls me enchanted

Oh who are you
What have you done?
Within my universe
You are now my only sun

Shut

These doors I see
Lay open and closed
They speak to me
Urging for a choice

Through one and another
I walked on, but
Often I wonder
About right and wrong

When I found no more
Searching blind and broken
Still I was hoping for
A chance, a door still open

Then through the night
You opened doors
And brought your light
To show much more

At last, I was found
But I was blinded
Without a sound
Your light ended

It was not the wind
It was not the night
But the door closing
That put out your light

Left, shut and alone
I wander on again
How it could have gone
Like a whisper of your name

So I'm holding on

Still I'm holding out

It's been so long

Since your dawn

Through The Rain

On my flaming steed I've riddern

Where the winds would lead.

I've come to here from afar

To be precise, 15 kilometers so far.

But the rain hads been kind

It yields an unexpected find.

A precious hidden sight

A treasure by the fading light.

What have I seen?

Where have I been?

Oh, I've discovered a backyard sunset

But it's you that I can't forget.

Real

In every boy

In every girl

Should see their worth

In this world

Bless their soul

With words of old

Teach them well

And keep them real

Show them doors

Between the walls
Give them strength to walk
On through them tall

To live and learn
To dream and yearn
And not to bend
And simply wait their turn

At Long Last

At last we've closed this chapter
At last one forgives another
The story of our twisted fate
A weary heart, finally given up on hate

"I forgive you," were her words
That showed me love, beyond the hurt
Oh how badly we had to burn
Our lessons in blood, we had to learn

"I had long forgiven you," I prayed
In return, a reality I never did say
But what can one do but to apologise
Again to soothe a wounded disguise

At long last, exoneration
It's been so long since we spoke
Between what we've done to against the other
There could still be hope

A hand or a fist, by which we meet
It is our choice, with love or in defeat
We met in love, and parted by fire
Down rained her fists, I was cursed as a liar

This heart how it has crawled
Into your lap and onto the floor
Time and you have now forgive this cage
Risen, has hope, above this wreckage

Thank you, I was wrong
Thank you, you were strong
But I can't say enough
About the irony of love wronged

Peace

Peaceful mind
O' peaceful heart
In these dark times
We're far apart

I look for you
In every turn
Impatient I wait
For your return

Your graceful touch
I need it so
To carry me forth
When these fights get old

But these days between
I do treasure much
For I've learnt and grown
Because we're apart

Your will to stay or go
I cannot mould
But I'll stay true
If you'll promise so

Look Away

Take your eyes
Look away, look out
At the clouds and the sun

Turn you eyes
Look up, look around
You've looked at this path too often

Take your heart
Live strong, live true
There's still hope yet in your hand

Make a dream
Stay true, stay firm
Do not let this valley crowd your heart

Say a prayer
Believe, you must believe
In you, this land, and the warm sunrise

Let The Rain Do The Rest

This whirlwind in the brain box
Above a beating flame
I try and try to figure
But it will never be the same

If the universe should conspire
To choose a left from right
Or between an obvious fire
And a subtle pondering night

It shall be no one's blame
When it's all like a game
Each roll of dice or punches
Was never meant to be the same

And so with each new morning
Within my beating chest
I pray to see you smile again
And let the rain do the rest

Christmas 2005

Ink and smiles bring Seasons Greetings
T'is the season for thanks-giving
Thou tummies fill do turkey roasts
It's hearts that warm under mistletoe

A season, a reason - to rejoice and cheer
A time, a rhyme - to cheris all that is dear
For seven days and endless nights
Through mind and bory, we've had to fight

To push, to pull - to goals we'd try
Perhaps one day we'll really fly

But wings I need not to walk on clouds
When your hands grace mine, I have no doubt
On napkins, a parcment of women wood hair
I carve a river through lyrical dare

An ode to you, a christmas wish
A bow to Santa's nice-naughty list

I must've been good for a whole long time
To get my present so soon yet fine
I guess my wish for snow has to wair
For now, a white christmas can't beat your date!

A first in years, i've never felt more
The way your twinkle drowns out the roar
Wat crowd, what din, what joyous chaos
All replaced, all parted by the prayer of yours


"Merry Christmas 2005,

Love Kiat"



*scribbled across a Starbucks Coffee napkin.



I miss that.

5 a.m.

I woke to the rain this morning
Looked out onto the streets
I was looking for a sign of you
A whisper of hope, that you were coming

Caught in the drops and winds that swept me by
I thought I saw your soul
And for a moment it was alright
But now, the moment's gone and I'm alone

Said a prayer and felt it touch the ground
Like these kisses from heaven
They all came crashing down
To remind me of all that I have missed

So I took a breath and closed my eyes
Tried to hide away
Keep all that was cold inside
Drive the lonliness away

The space beside me is still quiet
It's been empty for so long
No soft familiar breathing
Instead a slow burn yearning

Caught in the thoughts and sighs that turn inside
I thought I had it all
Now with the drinks the dreams they come alive
And make me want you more and more and more

Said a prayer and felt it touch the ground
Like these kisses from heaven
They all came crashing down
To remind me of all that I have missed

Kiss the rain and let it wash over your soul
Close your eyes and open your heart
Hold out your soul
And for a moment forget what you have missed

Photographs

Your memories
Play like a film
Without sound
Before me, slowly

Those good times
Are still alive
Very much so
Somewhere, not now

This place, this face
These things you shared
Are kept close
Like a teardrop

But they are not mine
These journeys
They inspire
And show me much

So I shall from now
Remember and love
Start my own film
Together with yours

Sunset

One more sunset, sliding past the six

One more moment dressed with grace

We know the night comes

It'd be a shame to let it pass

On so little the night we must last

Beg the loveliness to stay
When the colours fade away

If you believe the night will end

If you believe the sun will come

If you can open your eyes and your heart

To the love between

Then the sunset will be yours

She will be yours

We flew in on the same winds

We loved the memories they bring

For a while, it was perfect

But the moments and day did pass

With so little, the nights we must last

Your loveliness did stay

The sunset couldn't burn it away

You said, believe the night will end

Believe the sun will come

For me, open your eyes and your heart

To this love between

The sunset will be yours

The sunset will be ours

Now comes the night

Hold on to the light

The sunset will be ours

The sunset will be ours

One Rainy Night

I walked across an empty street,
Stopped by a street lamp
In the drizzle to breathe

I touched the earth, embraced the air
Felt all the life around me
To the tip of my hair

Oh, simple words
How you have come
Found me in yearning
Then took me into your arms

For a simple fate
Not complex thoughts
Just hold me close and
Give me a reason to live on

I came upon a lonely tree,
Felt the glancing raindrop
Like your generous kiss

I read your words
Those precious gifts
They seem to always make me complete

Oh, simple words
How you have come
Found me in yearning
Then took me into your arms

For a simple fate
Not complex thoughts
Just hold me close and
Give me a reason to live on

If you have a heartbeat
Why don’t we just go
To a place where only we know
To share and learn about the reasons

Why no one else shows
Yet no one else knows
In a place where only we know

A Brief Touch of Light

If Heaven meant to lead us
Through these gates of stone and fire
If Fate meant to show us
Just how impatiente we were

If choices had always given us
Everything we wouldn't choose
And if life has frequently taken
What we'd rather not lose

What choice of knowing,
A choice for the willing?
Or a force of the able
Empty as an aged fable

When you'd rather turn away
When you can just step aside
Listen as a wind blows
Across this great divide

Beyond the yester yearnings
Or the anguish of tears denied
A candle truth shall be our light
Compassion will then be our guide

Sit, stop and stare
With each step come a breath
Slowly, open thy inner eye
To embrace the reasons why

In little over a revolution
In more than a few words
You shall be shown more
Than you could have heard

So fight not stubborn battles
Dig deep no furrowed brows
Compassion does not insist equals
But just an inner smile

Confession

Through your gates I walk,
Carrying all I cannot hold
My heart aflamed, I cannot hide
You are my Aphrodite, a goddess

Your eyes, they are like mirrors
They show what I could not find
Your lips have whispered
Reflections, sweet beyond time

Oh, how your eyes tease me
How your sighs, they fill me
With my endless imagination
Of bitter regret transformed

There is no comfort in silence
No chance of passing up
That I can, but also must
Confess a dream, a wanton secret

I want, so much I shouldn't
I can't stop, so many words
What have you done to me
All I can remember is a craving

Time

Take time, give time
Do what you would between
But remember, none shall pass
Until the winds have changed


The mountains will wait
Posseidon's Will shall stay
While we yearn and burn
With our right to fight

Continue to hope
Stop not the breath
The beating living dream
Let no heart sing alone

Each pass we meet
Each ridge we crawl
Shall fade and yield
As we meet them bold

For it is not with wayward
Strength that we beat them
But with courage
That we try to understand

Not to yield to whims
Nor to bend to trials
But to serve a great mystery
A strive for self-mastery

So take time and give time
And think, think, think
Think to find, to know
To see and be one, with time

She Inspires

Why do we sail,
For a face, a name
Or for fairytale gold?


To touch with Gods
To feel their wisdoms
To know the truths they may hold?

For inspiration
In desperation
Or simply to get out, out there?

To know her
It is pointless
She would only show me myself

Beyond my promises
Beneath my hopes
She believes there is more

Without fear
Without favour
She chooses me for now

She gives
She takes
She inspires without sides

And now I believe
There is more
And I shall never go back

Before I Go

17 minutes overdue, I received a concerned piece of advice; thus followed this piece, dedicated to the unexpected moments of impending realisation, of powerful inspiration.

"Before I Go"

I have challenged the tides
Debated the winds,
And questioned the sun.

They all speak
A wisdom to me, profound,
Only with a greater patience.

They make me feel young
I make myself feel righteous
To that, they will only smile, and wait.

"Those who follow the Gods,
Kiss their steps, worship
And know their songs," they said

"Will find neither heaven gates
nor hell fires; only love."
And I am silenced.

"Release yourself and allow us
From thy fervent prison;
Full of burning faith and conviction."

I am all but quiet, in the company
Of a beating guilty nod within
I cannot ignore my heart, no.

"Fight not these blameless angels
To demand a worldly miracle,"
They continue, piercing my shame

"Walk with feet of own,
Fly only with wings given.
Try not and confuse not the two."

"For you and We are one
But not the same. Go."
And I went, along, away; aware.

Minutes From Departure

From deep within
Our canyon stalls,
We emerged burnt
From giving it all

Where lies the truth
A balm to soothe?
What hearts we've laid
Upont them these lines of truth

Oh how we tire
As they conspire
To break us down
We will run today

SPREAD THE COLOURS DEEP AND FAST
THIS IS OUR BRAND NEW START
THE NIGHT WE SHALL RESIST
RISE UP TODAY, TO A PROMISE

Oh how we tire
Of their desires
To hold us back
We must run today

FIGHT THE WAVES DEEP AND FAST
THIS IS OUR CHANCE TO START
OUR FEARS SHALL CEASE
AS WE RISE UP, TO A PROMISE

WE SHALL RISE TODAY
THSI IS OUR PROMISE

On Fire

I long for a touch
The light to put out the night
The whisper that lingers
Between me and the edge

I long for the mystery
A thought that would not leave
A fire burning up slowly
A heart, a willing captive

I pray for one more chance
To be on fire
To breathe this mystery
To be close to Love again

Cos everything I know now
Feels like everything I hate
There’s no truth that I can take
There’s no truce that I can make

I long for you, again
For all the nights you’re near me
For all your mysteries
For all the fire you brought me

I pray for one more chance
To be on fire
To make these verses more than
Empty sounds and empty words

Cos I finally know now
You’re the chance I want to see
You’re the times to truly live
You’re one last chance that I’d take

I’ve been burnt
But I’m still on fire
Whenever I think
When you come around

You and your mysteries
You’re a mystery…
I’m on fire…

---------------------------------------

Its's Valentines Day today, I'm longing to be on fire. Burn me again, won't you?

I know you're lighting up another night somewhere out there.

You're always crazy that way. You're always beautiful that way.

That's why you've always had a way. That's why you're a mystery, at the edge of me.

Burn me again, won't you?

A New Start

These points we’ve chosen
Along our lives
They form our destiny

One step with another
One point, one day
One breath by you and me

Across, over and beyond
We walk, step to fly
Away from mediocrity

With only truth to heart
We remain on these paths
And push on with tenacity

For each point we may choose
Shall lead to another
Arriving, a renewed destiny

Song For A Friend

Your skies have turned to grey
Fade to black
No more familiar sounds
To come home to

You have made me whole
And made me smile
When nothing was ever enough
But now you're gone

NOW THERE'S JUST A SPACE
WHERE YOU ONCE LAY
AND IT'S YOUR FACE I SEE
IN EVERY PLACE

You never knew just what
You've done for me
I've tried to carry you
And give you everything

Now that you're gone
Who'll break my fall?
Now that you're far away
Who'll help me carry on?

NOW THERE'S JUST A SPACE
WHERE YOU ONCE LAY
AND IT'S YOUR FACE I SEE
IN EVERY PLACE

They say that all dogs
Go to heaven
I say that of all dogs
You were my heaven

NOW THERE'S JUST A SPACE
WHERE YOU ONCE LAY
AND IT'S YOUR FACE I SEE
IN EVERY PLACE

NOW WHO IS GOING TO SAVE ME
WHEN YOU'RE GONE?
WHO'LL WATCH OVER ME
WHEN YOU'RE GONE?

========================================

Because loss was will never be easy to deal with. No, not for you.

Running Out

Should the world come crashing
When life itself seems spinning
Can no one set this right
Will we last this night

Cast it all into the sunrise
Watch the fire come to life
Breathe like you’ve got nothing to loose
Oh, this is a life we must choose

On the brink of another life
An enigmatic sign that it’s alright
We shall rise above today
To find it all, ready to go our way

Release

Behind the calm
Beneath the quiet breath
A spirit remains
Ready for the test

Within the silence
Behind the burning memory
A desire brews
Yearning for release

Let the winds open your heart
Let time guide your way
Believe in a brand new start
You've got to find a way

You will find a way

You suffer the burden
Of a persistent hopefulness
Though paths cross
And doors led to emptiness

Yesterday held little
Nothing was what it seemed
You had to find a way
To wake from this bad dream

So let the winds open your heart
Let time guide your way
You'll make a brand new start
Believe in a better day

Just when you stop believing
When it all seems to stop
When the dreams become faded
And your hands become jaded

You've got to find a way
To live another day

Let the winds open your heart
Let new dreams spread your wings
Today, to a new start
Hold on, pray and fly away

Hillsong

Oh hills,
You are our loyal chaperon.
How gentle you are,
To show us your rivers
Your lights and your people.

Oh sun,
You are our enigmatic guide.
How warm you are,
To come to wrap us for only hours
In your glow and your blessings.

Oh wind,
You are our lasting companion.
How constant you are,
Early to rise and last to sleep,
You never tire of whispers
Nor fail to go unoticed.

Oh Chiang Rai,
You are our loving parent.
How you have give us all,
From hills to sun and wind,
You've shown us your people
And through them, ourselves.


JKLM

Christmas Wind

Christmas Wind
'O Christmas Wind
What joy your whisper brings

We have no snow
Nor cosy glow
That fireplaces may bring

But we'll still bring joy
With carols and toys
And all our hearts shall sing

Wine Again

Let the night

Be our concierge.

Let the wine

Be our chaperon.

May our words

Be the threads

That bind us closer

Than time could ever do

You are no dreamer

With your eyes on me

And I am no fool

To know that we're one

At the toll of midnight

Alas we shall part

Like fairy tale lovers

Back to our savage gardens

We shall miss the night

The song and the words

That could have made us dance

Or made us complete

You're just a part of me

I can't let go

I'm just a part of you

That refused to leave

Dancer

I watched you move
Out of my desire
Glowing and defiant
An auburn fire

You stepped and jumped
In your stage sun
Audienced in darkness
You were second to none

As I melt away
Into the one and many
Would you know
That I had been one of your many?

Oh dancer,
You inspire so much
Yet give me so little
Without the slightest touch

When at last
The curtains call
When thunder erupts
And roses fall

Would you know
That I couldn't breathe
When you spun
That dance into a myth

Within your bow
Within your smile
There lies your answer
"It was for you, all this while,"

Given in love
Received in grace
Your dance is the sun
My bringer of days

Incidental Art #2

Me?

I'm tired of being me.

I'm lost in my crow's nest

Sick of giving my best

Only to have my mates

Give me a fiery rebate

Would you care to switch

Your days for my ditch

Away from safe harbours

Into the arms of thunder

Incidental Art #1

There was a quiet

A burden removed

From shoulders tired

For a while, soothed

In that passing

Within that peace

My eyes were willows

Sighing to the breeze

Joy! What I had found

Is a secret garden

Within stony fields

Like Hope beneath my burdens

A Book Returned

My pages are freckled
Worn by casual hands
My skin, it's endured
The breath of another land

My love still runs as deep
Unchanged as before
if I let you in
I'm sure you'll want more

I started out prestine
All crisp and brand new
Now I've turned vintage
From my time with you

Yes, you say I'm still lovely
Yes, you adore my new look
But so quickly returned
From whom I was took

It takes more than time
To scarr a clean look
What once was given
Shouldn't be returned, like this book

Rainy Night

In the wind-swept avenues
The rain-cleansed streets
A torrent of leaves crackle
Like a whip against my feet

The endless drops roll on
From above against our skin
Against the walls we hide
Begging for the warmth within

A sheet of rain came greeting
Cold silk of welcome for me
Each step I took within them
Brought kisses both wet and free

Years ago I used to love
To share my song with the rain
These days my old heart wonders
If these bones would protest in pain

Ah, rainy night, you ease my soul
You bring to me much joy
With playful wetness and quick carrasses
The night, she is your voice

Mountaineer's Song

Singing rock, O' singing rock
For whom do you song?
Why do I hear your glories
Long after I am gone?

I know that you are waiting
I hear your whispering winds
I miss your strong character
That bend my soul to a whim

How you have been patient
Teaching me in silent grace
That I may know your secrets
If only I pledge my days

Singing rock, O' singing rock
How I dream of your song
In my nights of engineered reality
I will return, it won't be long

I Already Love Her

She turned my chaos into light
When my days all feel like nights
Gave me another reason to fight
To seek, to find, to love this life


Oh how it stirred my weary soul
Sparked a desire to have and hold
She was the flame against my night
"But it cannot happen," I was told

Oh the bitterness I felt
The anguish my reality dealt
That I must bend like the others
And not follow what I felt

But these moments are wise
For possession has a great price
To be paid by captor and captive both
For love to be bound in its device

What is free must remain so
Lest we forbid love to grow
We cannot keep what we cannot hold
Much less fit pure love into a mould

After much deliberation,
I reconsidered the situation
I guess I already loved her
Without the meaningless posession

==============================

I've tried many times before to "love" so many people, only to end up temporarily elated by the illusions I chose to see and believe. But this peace is fragile, and indeed none of my previous "loves" lasted very long. Not to say that I wasn't serious about them, but I certainly didn't know what was truly wrong.

I'm only beginning to see that many of the things I've done in the past have stemmed from my obsessive pursuit of purpose and romance. They have undoubtedly shaped me and convinced me of some approaches in life, where some of my greatest mistakes involved trying to possess what was once free, and to force love to conform to my romantic ideals.

Ah such mistakes do not reveal themselves easily or quickly, because we would surely have been blind in our pursuits; our mental gaze tunneled by our personal histories and past baggages. A continuous and thorough evaluation of one's life would be necessary to begin the journey of self-discovery -- for it is only after finding yourself, that you can truly find, and love, someone else.

Save Your Dreams For Another Day

Catcher, oh dear catcher
Can you hear me?
Do you know my heart?
For you hold my dreams

Do you save them
In those precious gems
That wink at me
In the night wind

I see in your eye
The promise of truth
A reason for my sigh
A hope for the missing

Catcher, oh dear catcher
How dear you are to me
I wish for your magic
To keep my heart

You'd guard my secrets
You'd stop the tears
You'd help me learn to save
My dreams for another day

Black Wings In The Night

You gave me a chance
To know how it feels
To fly upon wings
A freedom so real


I could have been Hermes
Through these night moments
When your precious gifts
Sailed me on streetlamp oceans


These black wings
Though are old
Their strong sweeps
Lend a power so real


Oh if only I could
Keep this up
But I've much to learn
Of this new art


=====================



Thank you for the rollerblades :)

Dreaming

I had a dream last night
You were in my arms
And it felt right

It was unexpected
I didn't dare consume
The grace of your affection

Your shoulders nuzzled me
Your hair whispered scents
But your face I couldn't see

I knew your shape
I had seen it before
Burned into my head

I knew your smell
And that soothing warmth
You were like a spell

Alas, who you my dear are
I may never know
Only to guess by far

For now I'm left
With your lingering love
And the sigh of your breath

Beautifully Broken

These streets
They are filthy
These rags
They don't fit me

My life
It's here for all to see
I'm poor
Born into your destiny

I have no name
They say I'm a son-of-a-bitch
It's all the same
Another name from their lips

My mom
She might as well be dead
My father
He's got drugs in his head

Someone said
That I look like a angel
Someone said
That I would soon be legal

Red lights
These walls, my home, cold
These men
At night they come, bold

I live here
In the backstreets of Calcutta
I'll be free
But all I've known is here

I Wish You Love

I have no excuse,
And there's no use,
To hide the love
I see in your eyes.

A love you gave
The love I saved
Inside this heart
Afraid yet enslaved

We've both had our truths,
We've both had to choose
This wine became vintage
Its full bouquet bloomed

We've lived these years
With our romantic fears
Too old for this philosophy,
Too young to stay clear

I'm a fool to have longed
To have waited wrong
When you wished me love
All along.

Confessions Over Tea

We'll lay it bare
In her cozy care
We'll fight the tears
Share out these fears

With creased smiles
And endearing frowns,
Like a mellow flame
We're warm with pain

Time will be our mistress
Tonight she keeps our secrets,
Our shattered pieces
And dearest misses.

We will surrender,
Quietly confess to her
While speaking of clouds
Like dreams and doubts.

Learning Compassion

FOR IAN:

Since I've learned to fight
I've been told that I
Should understand this rule
Marked in black and white

Live well and give your best
But there will come a test
Nothing is beyond its grasp
Nothing can teach death

But I was young
And I was stubborn
Too darn quick
With my sleek wit

Too soon your eyes grew shut
Against my late compassion
Upon your marble altar
I wished I hadn't judged

A loss is still a loss
In your wake come many
We offer our late praise
For life's greatest lesson

the queen

rule the earth
rule the seasons
regardless

bring the wine
bring her flowers
endless

there she rules
on jewel throne
graceful

but she cries
those opal eyes
inside

there's so much pain
from here
there's no one close
deep inside
all she gives is not
enough
and it can get really
silent

==============================

Beauty in darkness
darkness in beauty,
One's perspective
Another's prejudice

One For The Twilights

Feel the burn

Taste the morning in her kiss.

Feed the beast,

Steal it from her blushing lips.


One by one,
Whispers sing of giving in
Yearn for more
Taking can be such sweet sin


Because when morning comes
This bliss shall die
With the coming of life
We must run and fight

So I shed my skin
My fears and all my years
You strip me down
And take me in

Then we breathe in the stars
And with molten souls
The bliss it sings
In silent choir

For just a while
There is no fear
Feel it melt away
And leave us here

In the silence
In each other's silence

So much is in vain
My dear
There was so much pain
That we forget

We come alive before
The mornings come
Before we're silenced
And it's really silent