Parallel

I miss how the strum
Of your words
Fall on my ears
Through to my heart

So inspired to live
Without hope
Of living without
Your love as an art

My world was complete
Inside your eyes
Your smouldering sigh
Of pure Autumn gold

So clearly you see
I believed
All along
That we'd never be wrong

For you, I believed in a fairy tale
For you, I believed in a fairy tale
With you, I belived in a fairy world
With you, I would try


One night I received
A dream
A whisper of hope
That you'd be the end

The end to my questions
The doubts
The whos and the whens
With your touch I'd mend

But I woke to find
You were gone
Already awake
And staring away

That's when I knew
That I had loved
Given too much
I was too scared to stay

Because you had become my fairy tale
I had built up my fairy world
To keep you safe like a pearl
Only you, could make me cry


Nothing could change
The way we once were
Not him, or Him
Or any other lover

Still I lie awake
And long to hear
Your gentle dreams
Of home in my ear

I remember

That you were more than a fairy tale
That I was part of your fairy world
Now you've grown beyond just a fairy girl
It's your time to fly

God-less

They came here to share
What One had spoken
They told me that all wrongs
Would now be forgiven

I heard how they called
To faces unseen
Their voices sang praises
Both aloud and within

They asked for me to pray
They asked for me to try
They offered me new ways
To leave my doubts behind

I looked upon their faces
I could see no lie
I smiled my awkward answer
But envied their burning eyes

I played my part and followed
I stepped on to their beats
A heart that once was hollow
Is trying to be complete

Alas, their faces have shown
That I did not do well
I could not hide my yearning gaze
My struggles they could tell

There were so many questions
That kept my door closed tight
I've had too many friends
Like reason, doubt and pride

I parted feeling God-less
Not fit or meant-to-be
I wondered about my lost ticket
For their spritirual journey

For them it must be simple
A complete divine surrender
I wondered how I should have felt
When I received their offer

Should I stop this believing
In all that's here and now?
Could I ever give up this magic
Through reason which I've found?

One day Love came around the same
And offered me her ways
Again I smiled my answer
To her come-what-may

Alas and again we parted
My door stood tightly shut
Her key could not undo the hurt
Or fill a missing part

I swore I'd not do this again
She swore she'd never stop
A promise to keep trying
Like waves against the rocks

Could love and God be one
My door has kept shut out?
Condemned to search an eternity
Before the key is found?

Today I still feel God-less
Not fit or meant-to-be
I wonder about my lost ticket
And Love's promise to me

A New Year

It's 20 past the one
As I write this line
I know it's getting late
But who's keeping the time?

Today we let it go
Today we'll stay up late
To usher out the unrenewed
And welcome fresh Spring fate

In lights or in red
In tradition's buzzing glee
Some shake, some touch
And some we simply let be

For not all gaps or rivers
Were meant for us to bridge
Just as lovers will fight
Before love's bounty reached

Hands and arms held open
Or closed in bowed greeting
Let us receive this canvas
Of shades that we all bring

So out not only with the old
And cheer not only for the new
But keep instead a heart so bold
With dreams and living, fresh as dew

Happy Birthday, P!

Today we age a little more
Some lines, some stories
And some behind the doors

Just yesterday
We thought
We knew and wanted more

Today we know
We love
And kept our scores

So let these candles
Chatter
And dance and soar

Happy birthday, babe
Our gift shall peer
Through love's open door

Desperate

Is it too late
Could this be fate?
You know I'd do anything
Just to be your date

But where we are now
Who we have become
Are we condemned to be free
Or will our time ever come?

Is it too late
Or must I still wait
Even when I haven't felt more
Sure of anyone to-date

The Way It Goes

There were some days
When all I'd do is play
In search of something new

Though it was fun
Those days in the sun
One of them led me to you

One day I'd found
Your whispers haunting me
And thoughts of you to hold

But the days passed by
They moved so quickly
And I left you in the cold

That's the way that our love goes
Build it up just to let it go
Let the leaves fall outside our windows
We'll live fast just to die slow
That's why we let go

I had a dream
That you came back to me
After all that I've put you through

You said, "go get a grip
Don't you ever quit
I'm not leaving until we're through"

Then all the times
When it seemed impossible
That we would find our way home

All those times
You stood in silence, holding
My hand just to stay strong

They said, "there is a way,
Back to yesterday;
There's a way for us to be good."

So just yesterday
I started to pray
That what they had said was true

There were times
It seemed impossible
For us to find a way home

And through the fire
We figured we'd be fine
As long as we don't let go

That's the way that the world goes
Spinning past before you know
Though the doors and windows have closed
We're fast but still we're too slow

The Other End Of The Sheets

She likes chasing fire flies
Insists that she is shy
She'll wake at seven just so to stay in bed

She can't seem to sit down still
Eat shellfish until she's ill
She'll say it's hot and then almost catch a chill

She'll never give into her dreams
She'd rather work it out slowly
The rocks and trees she touches
Make more sense than destiny
But she'll throw it all away
Just for me

I like sipping on red wine
Go climbing on a line
Or spend the day curled up to a book instead

I'd jump right into a chance
To make music or to dance
With or without shoes I'd not care what they say

I'd love to lose myself to dreams
And run along with their journeys
I'd rather stay awake
And waste my time instead of sleep
Because this life is
Never what it seems


Like two bright revolving stars
We've travelled oh so far
To spin across the sheets from cheek to cheek

We know it's easy to believe
To draw the lines that don't meet
In time we'll roll from opposite
Ends of the sheet
Then there'll be no need for
Counting silly sheep

Angelic Nothing

My angel said
"It's getting light,"
I wished that somehow
Dawn would come without the night

Before I gave in
Resigned to stay tired
Before I grieved
For prayers unanswered

"Don't say a word
It's alright that we're quiet,"
My angel seemed
To read my mind

"A gift I will give to you
Money and time won't buy
When words, they don't travel
You can give it a try

It's both big, and it's little
It's an end, and a start
It's all, and it's nothing
I give the language of my heart."

My angel's words stitched me
Like silver needles fine
Across my living patch-work
In a bold defiant line

I wanted to say thank you
Wanted to ask why
She should grant me such gift
In spite of my crimes

But alas, my angel flew
With less than a goodbye
She left as she had come
Upon my lonely sigh

Above the Wreckage (a poem)

Take some time to count your fortunes
Know that nothing here will last
Neither have they been elusive
Fading fast, fast

Don't waste your beautiful
Your beautiful life
Don't fall behind under
These tides of strife, down here

Now, you must rise above the wreckage
Up from dark times before
See it all fall away around you
See it fall, fall

Don't hold these wings in chains
These practical chains
Open these hands and let
The wind carry you away, away

Deep

I long to lie beside you

I long to come alive

In your arms again

Wine was our secret language

But no words were needed

To convince me to stay

It was all you needed

To take me in

I'm helpless tonight

Surrendered to your charm

Seduced by your gentle

Kisses against my arm

Please tell me tonight

You miss what we have shared

And it was more than just

A dream inside my head

Crashing down

Reaching out

For your tenderness

Your gracefulness

We've barely scratched the surface

Or have we gone so deep that

We've both lost our ways

If I'm lost inside you

I'd be contented just to

Stay this way

Let you be all

I'll ever need

I'm helpless tonight
Surrendered to your charm
Seduced by your gentle
Kisses against my arm

Please show me tonight
That you miss what we have shared
And it wasn't nothing more than
Voices round my head

And I'll come reaching out

Without a doubt
To keep this tenderness

With a gentle kiss

Sand

Your eyes they look right through me
Your smile it seems to say you've given in
We'd fallen for each other
A memory that wouldn't fade away

With the rush
We broke the hush

YOU CARRIED ME DOWN
WARMLY IN YOUR ARMS
BURIED AND HELPLESS
SWIRLING IN YOUR CHARM

YOU CAN'T TELL ME NOW
ALL THAT WE HAVE MADE
WAS NOTHING MORE THAN SAND
WITHIN OUR HANDS

SLIPPING OUT
SLIPPING OUT
JUST LIKE SAND
WE WERE JUST LIKE SAND

Since then our corners wore off
Our edgy began to fade away
Often at night I've wondered
How we had come to throw it all away

But in the end
Our hearts will mend

TO CARRY US DOWN
THROUGH THE HOURGLASS
LOST AND DISTRACTED
WAITING FOR OUR TIME TO PASS

HELP ME TONIGHT
THIS VOICE WITHIN MY HEAD
WAS EVERYTHING YOUR TOUCH
HAD EVER SAID

SLIPPING OUT
RUNNING OUT
THROUGH MY HANDS
NOTHING MORE THAN SAND

Please turn it around
Leave me with some hope
Cos I can't remember
Ever falling this far

Before you leave tonight
Remember all we had
Wasn't nothing more
Than noise inside our heads

Fading out
Slipping out
We can't pretend
Through our hands


I long to wake beside you
To turn and reach out
For your hand again

Solitude

When it's over
When it's time
There'll be no bells
No angel choirs

Nor the tinkle
Of shattered pieces
Slipping through
Guilty fingers

There may be tears
There'll be emotions
Words exchanged
Blows felt

But there'll always
Be solitude
An empty quiet
That lays in wait

No noise, no peace
Just emptiness
A sense of loss
A growing hole

When it's over
There'll be no prayers
No mercy for me
None for the in-between

Crash

I tried to forget about it
I tried my best to ignore it
To keep it out, away
This pain within


Got lost again while trying
From searching now I'm crawling
Fell fast and hard, away
I've crashed again


But in our rush
We got lost


Carry me home
Don't let me fall apart
When the rain is gone
Won't you keep me warm


Leave your light on
To guide me on the way
Something I can rely on
To turn the night into the day


The night may pass
The heart will last
We'll live through the crash

I've tried to reason the heart
I've tried to try the ways
I've tried to go down easy
But I just can't win

I couldn't stop your tears fallen
When each promise lay broken
You've been through hell
For my lofty sin

But in our rush
We lay crashed

A Haunting Love

Was it you
Who looked me right in the eyes
And said that you
Would never see me cry

Was it me
Who reached out for your hand
And said that we
Would never say goodbye

In between we've lived
Through heaven
And burning hell
Refusing to let this die

When one was in pain
Another would wish
To take their place
To soothe the hurt, or just try

Would we have thought
That when no one else
Could or would understand
The stroy behind why we cry

When all we knew
Feels all so temporary
Fragile tenderness
Like a bird waiting to fly

Put out your heart
And rest your hands
On our ethereal love
And let the world pass on by

And remember
It was you, and it was me
Who said, hush now
This truth is only yours and mine

Music

When dusty souls
That have oft wandered
And turned every corner
In search of worthy wonder

Driven by hunger
Pursued by yearning
Hearts that refused quiet
To feel the fire burning

But alas the night oft falls
In a silent guilty hush
To leave no gold or silver
After the blur of day's rush

Let not your ears and heart
Lay down their arms
To give in or up in the silence
Against all that may come

There shall be one
A magic though small
It would still move
Each heart she calls

Listen! To all the things
She is trying to say
Let the music in your soul
And she won't be far away

Let each beat urge your heart
Each note dance for you
Each crescendo bring you close
And feel her warmth bring you home

Music, oh how she still moves
In mysterious ways
To sing along and away
These nights into days

Come take me away
Please take me away
Through the nights and days
Please say that you'll stay

Dreaming In Red

I had a dream, once
I was in an alley, smoking
On a dank November night
Under a old streetlamp, waiting

Your set had just started
I could hear the trumpet sighing
You should be in the wings now
A pearl in this dark clam stirring

Today, you are a passionate red
Your marble skin and crown opaline
But each time I feel you pass
I still drown in your sultry wine

I dragged out deep
On my only thread to sanity
The smoke from my cigarette
Calm the nervous soul within

It is jazz of Shanghai that you sing
But hints of abandon that you give
Each night I help you to the stage
Each night you give me a little more to live

Under the orange glow, I linger
Dreaming to your whisky-laced purr
Wishing that there was a way
For me to take you away from here

No more nights at seedy joints
No more parading to the wolves
Though somehow I think you know
Your appetite I could never soothe

Ever since I had that dream
It’s never been the same
I heard your sighing everywhere
And my soul whispers your name

The Heart

We've always looked to the skies
And to things our eyes cannot see
With hands and borrowed words
We'll try to keep our hearts afloat


But there'll be no startling signs
That fate has finally found me
No thunder breaks above
No holy script to serve


You told me the heart will prove it all
It'll make the sense within
Even as the mountains wear and fall
Let our faith build the bridges in between


Beyond seasons, the time and tide
As wrinkles claw our skin
We'll stand true with our hearts beating alive
Let truth become our guide

But I remember black skies
The night that fell around me
I remember the cold
How my heart began to hurt

I searched with prayers
That you will finally find me
When it all began to blur
Your voice was all I heard

You told me the heart will prove it all
It'll make the sense within
Even reason shall bend and fail
Let the beats build the bridges in between

Beyond seasons, the time and tide
As sands sweep across our skin
We'll stand true with one beating rhyme
And let our hearts be our guide

Music: How She Still Moves Me

When dusty souls
That have oft wandered
And turned every corner
In search of worthy wonder

Driven by hunger
Pursued by yearning
Hearts that refused quiet
To feel the fire burning

But alas the night oft falls
In a silent guilty hush
To leave no gold or silver
After the blur of day's rush

Let not your ears and heart
Lay down their arms
To give in or up in the silence
Against all that may come

There shall be one
A magic though small
It would still move
Each heart she calls

Listen! To all the things
She is trying to say
Let the music in your soul
And she won't be far away

Let each beat urge your heart
Each note dance for you
Each crescendo bring you close
And feel her warmth bring you home

Music, oh how she still moves
In mysterious ways
To sing along and away
These nights into days

Come take me away
Please take me away
Through the nights and days
Please tell me you'll stay

Twilight Rose

Twilight rose
Oh, twilight rose
I love your enigma
How it soothes my soul

Against a crown
Of purple white clouds
You shyly peek
Your whiskey brow

Warm, yes you are
You touch me so
With a sincere blush
Trimmed in gold

Twilight rose
Please say that you'll stay
I know that you'll come
Only once on each day

In such sweet rapture
We meet for just a while
But you'll always go
Leaving me your sorbet smile

Twilight rose
Oh, twilight rose
Please come back
I miss you so

Lullaby

Stoned, cold
These eyes glazed over
Thin, worn
These hands feel older

Like blood on snow

A soul is tainted

Irreversible

Cold and jaded

But no, not you

You kept me awake

With touch and smiles

I heard you say

When twilight comes
It'll bring a beginning
See how far we've come
Our hearts still beating

Put your hand in mine
We'll keep on dreaming
With time and tide
We'll keep on flowing

But if you fear or fall behind
I'll sing to you this lullaby
To keep you safe from the dark
Until again you're ready to try

The Old Flame

It's been too long since
I've touched these keys
They're dusted over
Just like these dreams

But on a pre-dawn morning
A thought struck me
A sentient arrow
A rekindled memory

Of a certain flame
Of a certain name
Of a certain heart
That refused to be tamed

And so I sought you out
Searched the sky
For your cloud
And yes, your words they
Still burn bright

There Must Be More

I'll break these chains
I'll dust these ties
Like an idea prime
I won't be denied

For long we have stayed
On much we have waited
Before our hearts
Has all but become jaded

Let the tired sun set
Pay it no mind
For it's the dawn that we prepare
The coming of our time

This Song Has No Words

A tune stands alone
Contemplative and free
Without the burdens
Of any lyrical duties

Her form is flowing
Her soul pulses strong
A secret chime of a mandolin
Outlines her heart's song

A choir of clean strings
They join in step now
Chopping, a slow storm
Brewing, they drum a sound

I watch from beyond
Can't ignore the sound
I feel my pulse quicken
And my feet can't touch the ground

Bells, then a heavenly choir
They climb, they call out above
By her command
With her, a pulsing nerve

Like a wild wind blowing
Channeled through my doors
She whispers a storm
That explodes to a roar

She goes on, and on, and on
She won't let me go
And I don't want anything else
My world was paved in gold

She has no name (she says so)
Her soul bears no words
And she makes not signs
But whirls me enchanted

Oh who are you
What have you done?
Within my universe
You are now my only sun

Shut

These doors I see
Lay open and closed
They speak to me
Urging for a choice

Through one and another
I walked on, but
Often I wonder
About right and wrong

When I found no more
Searching blind and broken
Still I was hoping for
A chance, a door still open

Then through the night
You opened doors
And brought your light
To show much more

At last, I was found
But I was blinded
Without a sound
Your light ended

It was not the wind
It was not the night
But the door closing
That put out your light

Left, shut and alone
I wander on again
How it could have gone
Like a whisper of your name

So I'm holding on

Still I'm holding out

It's been so long

Since your dawn

Through The Rain

On my flaming steed I've riddern

Where the winds would lead.

I've come to here from afar

To be precise, 15 kilometers so far.

But the rain hads been kind

It yields an unexpected find.

A precious hidden sight

A treasure by the fading light.

What have I seen?

Where have I been?

Oh, I've discovered a backyard sunset

But it's you that I can't forget.

Real

In every boy

In every girl

Should see their worth

In this world

Bless their soul

With words of old

Teach them well

And keep them real

Show them doors

Between the walls
Give them strength to walk
On through them tall

To live and learn
To dream and yearn
And not to bend
And simply wait their turn

At Long Last

At last we've closed this chapter
At last one forgives another
The story of our twisted fate
A weary heart, finally given up on hate

"I forgive you," were her words
That showed me love, beyond the hurt
Oh how badly we had to burn
Our lessons in blood, we had to learn

"I had long forgiven you," I prayed
In return, a reality I never did say
But what can one do but to apologise
Again to soothe a wounded disguise

At long last, exoneration
It's been so long since we spoke
Between what we've done to against the other
There could still be hope

A hand or a fist, by which we meet
It is our choice, with love or in defeat
We met in love, and parted by fire
Down rained her fists, I was cursed as a liar

This heart how it has crawled
Into your lap and onto the floor
Time and you have now forgive this cage
Risen, has hope, above this wreckage

Thank you, I was wrong
Thank you, you were strong
But I can't say enough
About the irony of love wronged

Peace

Peaceful mind
O' peaceful heart
In these dark times
We're far apart

I look for you
In every turn
Impatient I wait
For your return

Your graceful touch
I need it so
To carry me forth
When these fights get old

But these days between
I do treasure much
For I've learnt and grown
Because we're apart

Your will to stay or go
I cannot mould
But I'll stay true
If you'll promise so

Look Away

Take your eyes
Look away, look out
At the clouds and the sun

Turn you eyes
Look up, look around
You've looked at this path too often

Take your heart
Live strong, live true
There's still hope yet in your hand

Make a dream
Stay true, stay firm
Do not let this valley crowd your heart

Say a prayer
Believe, you must believe
In you, this land, and the warm sunrise

Let The Rain Do The Rest

This whirlwind in the brain box
Above a beating flame
I try and try to figure
But it will never be the same

If the universe should conspire
To choose a left from right
Or between an obvious fire
And a subtle pondering night

It shall be no one's blame
When it's all like a game
Each roll of dice or punches
Was never meant to be the same

And so with each new morning
Within my beating chest
I pray to see you smile again
And let the rain do the rest

Christmas 2005

Ink and smiles bring Seasons Greetings
T'is the season for thanks-giving
Thou tummies fill do turkey roasts
It's hearts that warm under mistletoe

A season, a reason - to rejoice and cheer
A time, a rhyme - to cheris all that is dear
For seven days and endless nights
Through mind and bory, we've had to fight

To push, to pull - to goals we'd try
Perhaps one day we'll really fly

But wings I need not to walk on clouds
When your hands grace mine, I have no doubt
On napkins, a parcment of women wood hair
I carve a river through lyrical dare

An ode to you, a christmas wish
A bow to Santa's nice-naughty list

I must've been good for a whole long time
To get my present so soon yet fine
I guess my wish for snow has to wair
For now, a white christmas can't beat your date!

A first in years, i've never felt more
The way your twinkle drowns out the roar
Wat crowd, what din, what joyous chaos
All replaced, all parted by the prayer of yours


"Merry Christmas 2005,

Love Kiat"



*scribbled across a Starbucks Coffee napkin.



I miss that.

5 a.m.

I woke to the rain this morning
Looked out onto the streets
I was looking for a sign of you
A whisper of hope, that you were coming

Caught in the drops and winds that swept me by
I thought I saw your soul
And for a moment it was alright
But now, the moment's gone and I'm alone

Said a prayer and felt it touch the ground
Like these kisses from heaven
They all came crashing down
To remind me of all that I have missed

So I took a breath and closed my eyes
Tried to hide away
Keep all that was cold inside
Drive the lonliness away

The space beside me is still quiet
It's been empty for so long
No soft familiar breathing
Instead a slow burn yearning

Caught in the thoughts and sighs that turn inside
I thought I had it all
Now with the drinks the dreams they come alive
And make me want you more and more and more

Said a prayer and felt it touch the ground
Like these kisses from heaven
They all came crashing down
To remind me of all that I have missed

Kiss the rain and let it wash over your soul
Close your eyes and open your heart
Hold out your soul
And for a moment forget what you have missed

Photographs

Your memories
Play like a film
Without sound
Before me, slowly

Those good times
Are still alive
Very much so
Somewhere, not now

This place, this face
These things you shared
Are kept close
Like a teardrop

But they are not mine
These journeys
They inspire
And show me much

So I shall from now
Remember and love
Start my own film
Together with yours

Sunset

One more sunset, sliding past the six

One more moment dressed with grace

We know the night comes

It'd be a shame to let it pass

On so little the night we must last

Beg the loveliness to stay
When the colours fade away

If you believe the night will end

If you believe the sun will come

If you can open your eyes and your heart

To the love between

Then the sunset will be yours

She will be yours

We flew in on the same winds

We loved the memories they bring

For a while, it was perfect

But the moments and day did pass

With so little, the nights we must last

Your loveliness did stay

The sunset couldn't burn it away

You said, believe the night will end

Believe the sun will come

For me, open your eyes and your heart

To this love between

The sunset will be yours

The sunset will be ours

Now comes the night

Hold on to the light

The sunset will be ours

The sunset will be ours

One Rainy Night

I walked across an empty street,
Stopped by a street lamp
In the drizzle to breathe

I touched the earth, embraced the air
Felt all the life around me
To the tip of my hair

Oh, simple words
How you have come
Found me in yearning
Then took me into your arms

For a simple fate
Not complex thoughts
Just hold me close and
Give me a reason to live on

I came upon a lonely tree,
Felt the glancing raindrop
Like your generous kiss

I read your words
Those precious gifts
They seem to always make me complete

Oh, simple words
How you have come
Found me in yearning
Then took me into your arms

For a simple fate
Not complex thoughts
Just hold me close and
Give me a reason to live on

If you have a heartbeat
Why don’t we just go
To a place where only we know
To share and learn about the reasons

Why no one else shows
Yet no one else knows
In a place where only we know

A Brief Touch of Light

If Heaven meant to lead us
Through these gates of stone and fire
If Fate meant to show us
Just how impatiente we were

If choices had always given us
Everything we wouldn't choose
And if life has frequently taken
What we'd rather not lose

What choice of knowing,
A choice for the willing?
Or a force of the able
Empty as an aged fable

When you'd rather turn away
When you can just step aside
Listen as a wind blows
Across this great divide

Beyond the yester yearnings
Or the anguish of tears denied
A candle truth shall be our light
Compassion will then be our guide

Sit, stop and stare
With each step come a breath
Slowly, open thy inner eye
To embrace the reasons why

In little over a revolution
In more than a few words
You shall be shown more
Than you could have heard

So fight not stubborn battles
Dig deep no furrowed brows
Compassion does not insist equals
But just an inner smile

Confession

Through your gates I walk,
Carrying all I cannot hold
My heart aflamed, I cannot hide
You are my Aphrodite, a goddess

Your eyes, they are like mirrors
They show what I could not find
Your lips have whispered
Reflections, sweet beyond time

Oh, how your eyes tease me
How your sighs, they fill me
With my endless imagination
Of bitter regret transformed

There is no comfort in silence
No chance of passing up
That I can, but also must
Confess a dream, a wanton secret

I want, so much I shouldn't
I can't stop, so many words
What have you done to me
All I can remember is a craving

Time

Take time, give time
Do what you would between
But remember, none shall pass
Until the winds have changed


The mountains will wait
Posseidon's Will shall stay
While we yearn and burn
With our right to fight

Continue to hope
Stop not the breath
The beating living dream
Let no heart sing alone

Each pass we meet
Each ridge we crawl
Shall fade and yield
As we meet them bold

For it is not with wayward
Strength that we beat them
But with courage
That we try to understand

Not to yield to whims
Nor to bend to trials
But to serve a great mystery
A strive for self-mastery

So take time and give time
And think, think, think
Think to find, to know
To see and be one, with time

She Inspires

Why do we sail,
For a face, a name
Or for fairytale gold?


To touch with Gods
To feel their wisdoms
To know the truths they may hold?

For inspiration
In desperation
Or simply to get out, out there?

To know her
It is pointless
She would only show me myself

Beyond my promises
Beneath my hopes
She believes there is more

Without fear
Without favour
She chooses me for now

She gives
She takes
She inspires without sides

And now I believe
There is more
And I shall never go back

Before I Go

17 minutes overdue, I received a concerned piece of advice; thus followed this piece, dedicated to the unexpected moments of impending realisation, of powerful inspiration.

"Before I Go"

I have challenged the tides
Debated the winds,
And questioned the sun.

They all speak
A wisdom to me, profound,
Only with a greater patience.

They make me feel young
I make myself feel righteous
To that, they will only smile, and wait.

"Those who follow the Gods,
Kiss their steps, worship
And know their songs," they said

"Will find neither heaven gates
nor hell fires; only love."
And I am silenced.

"Release yourself and allow us
From thy fervent prison;
Full of burning faith and conviction."

I am all but quiet, in the company
Of a beating guilty nod within
I cannot ignore my heart, no.

"Fight not these blameless angels
To demand a worldly miracle,"
They continue, piercing my shame

"Walk with feet of own,
Fly only with wings given.
Try not and confuse not the two."

"For you and We are one
But not the same. Go."
And I went, along, away; aware.

Minutes From Departure

From deep within
Our canyon stalls,
We emerged burnt
From giving it all

Where lies the truth
A balm to soothe?
What hearts we've laid
Upont them these lines of truth

Oh how we tire
As they conspire
To break us down
We will run today

SPREAD THE COLOURS DEEP AND FAST
THIS IS OUR BRAND NEW START
THE NIGHT WE SHALL RESIST
RISE UP TODAY, TO A PROMISE

Oh how we tire
Of their desires
To hold us back
We must run today

FIGHT THE WAVES DEEP AND FAST
THIS IS OUR CHANCE TO START
OUR FEARS SHALL CEASE
AS WE RISE UP, TO A PROMISE

WE SHALL RISE TODAY
THSI IS OUR PROMISE

On Fire

I long for a touch
The light to put out the night
The whisper that lingers
Between me and the edge

I long for the mystery
A thought that would not leave
A fire burning up slowly
A heart, a willing captive

I pray for one more chance
To be on fire
To breathe this mystery
To be close to Love again

Cos everything I know now
Feels like everything I hate
There’s no truth that I can take
There’s no truce that I can make

I long for you, again
For all the nights you’re near me
For all your mysteries
For all the fire you brought me

I pray for one more chance
To be on fire
To make these verses more than
Empty sounds and empty words

Cos I finally know now
You’re the chance I want to see
You’re the times to truly live
You’re one last chance that I’d take

I’ve been burnt
But I’m still on fire
Whenever I think
When you come around

You and your mysteries
You’re a mystery…
I’m on fire…

---------------------------------------

Its's Valentines Day today, I'm longing to be on fire. Burn me again, won't you?

I know you're lighting up another night somewhere out there.

You're always crazy that way. You're always beautiful that way.

That's why you've always had a way. That's why you're a mystery, at the edge of me.

Burn me again, won't you?

A New Start

These points we’ve chosen
Along our lives
They form our destiny

One step with another
One point, one day
One breath by you and me

Across, over and beyond
We walk, step to fly
Away from mediocrity

With only truth to heart
We remain on these paths
And push on with tenacity

For each point we may choose
Shall lead to another
Arriving, a renewed destiny

Song For A Friend

Your skies have turned to grey
Fade to black
No more familiar sounds
To come home to

You have made me whole
And made me smile
When nothing was ever enough
But now you're gone

NOW THERE'S JUST A SPACE
WHERE YOU ONCE LAY
AND IT'S YOUR FACE I SEE
IN EVERY PLACE

You never knew just what
You've done for me
I've tried to carry you
And give you everything

Now that you're gone
Who'll break my fall?
Now that you're far away
Who'll help me carry on?

NOW THERE'S JUST A SPACE
WHERE YOU ONCE LAY
AND IT'S YOUR FACE I SEE
IN EVERY PLACE

They say that all dogs
Go to heaven
I say that of all dogs
You were my heaven

NOW THERE'S JUST A SPACE
WHERE YOU ONCE LAY
AND IT'S YOUR FACE I SEE
IN EVERY PLACE

NOW WHO IS GOING TO SAVE ME
WHEN YOU'RE GONE?
WHO'LL WATCH OVER ME
WHEN YOU'RE GONE?

========================================

Because loss was will never be easy to deal with. No, not for you.

Running Out

Should the world come crashing
When life itself seems spinning
Can no one set this right
Will we last this night

Cast it all into the sunrise
Watch the fire come to life
Breathe like you’ve got nothing to loose
Oh, this is a life we must choose

On the brink of another life
An enigmatic sign that it’s alright
We shall rise above today
To find it all, ready to go our way

Release

Behind the calm
Beneath the quiet breath
A spirit remains
Ready for the test

Within the silence
Behind the burning memory
A desire brews
Yearning for release

Let the winds open your heart
Let time guide your way
Believe in a brand new start
You've got to find a way

You will find a way

You suffer the burden
Of a persistent hopefulness
Though paths cross
And doors led to emptiness

Yesterday held little
Nothing was what it seemed
You had to find a way
To wake from this bad dream

So let the winds open your heart
Let time guide your way
You'll make a brand new start
Believe in a better day

Just when you stop believing
When it all seems to stop
When the dreams become faded
And your hands become jaded

You've got to find a way
To live another day

Let the winds open your heart
Let new dreams spread your wings
Today, to a new start
Hold on, pray and fly away

Hillsong

Oh hills,
You are our loyal chaperon.
How gentle you are,
To show us your rivers
Your lights and your people.

Oh sun,
You are our enigmatic guide.
How warm you are,
To come to wrap us for only hours
In your glow and your blessings.

Oh wind,
You are our lasting companion.
How constant you are,
Early to rise and last to sleep,
You never tire of whispers
Nor fail to go unoticed.

Oh Chiang Rai,
You are our loving parent.
How you have give us all,
From hills to sun and wind,
You've shown us your people
And through them, ourselves.


JKLM

Christmas Wind

Christmas Wind
'O Christmas Wind
What joy your whisper brings

We have no snow
Nor cosy glow
That fireplaces may bring

But we'll still bring joy
With carols and toys
And all our hearts shall sing

Wine Again

Let the night

Be our concierge.

Let the wine

Be our chaperon.

May our words

Be the threads

That bind us closer

Than time could ever do

You are no dreamer

With your eyes on me

And I am no fool

To know that we're one

At the toll of midnight

Alas we shall part

Like fairy tale lovers

Back to our savage gardens

We shall miss the night

The song and the words

That could have made us dance

Or made us complete

You're just a part of me

I can't let go

I'm just a part of you

That refused to leave

Dancer

I watched you move
Out of my desire
Glowing and defiant
An auburn fire

You stepped and jumped
In your stage sun
Audienced in darkness
You were second to none

As I melt away
Into the one and many
Would you know
That I had been one of your many?

Oh dancer,
You inspire so much
Yet give me so little
Without the slightest touch

When at last
The curtains call
When thunder erupts
And roses fall

Would you know
That I couldn't breathe
When you spun
That dance into a myth

Within your bow
Within your smile
There lies your answer
"It was for you, all this while,"

Given in love
Received in grace
Your dance is the sun
My bringer of days

Incidental Art #2

Me?

I'm tired of being me.

I'm lost in my crow's nest

Sick of giving my best

Only to have my mates

Give me a fiery rebate

Would you care to switch

Your days for my ditch

Away from safe harbours

Into the arms of thunder

Incidental Art #1

There was a quiet

A burden removed

From shoulders tired

For a while, soothed

In that passing

Within that peace

My eyes were willows

Sighing to the breeze

Joy! What I had found

Is a secret garden

Within stony fields

Like Hope beneath my burdens

A Book Returned

My pages are freckled
Worn by casual hands
My skin, it's endured
The breath of another land

My love still runs as deep
Unchanged as before
if I let you in
I'm sure you'll want more

I started out prestine
All crisp and brand new
Now I've turned vintage
From my time with you

Yes, you say I'm still lovely
Yes, you adore my new look
But so quickly returned
From whom I was took

It takes more than time
To scarr a clean look
What once was given
Shouldn't be returned, like this book

Rainy Night

In the wind-swept avenues
The rain-cleansed streets
A torrent of leaves crackle
Like a whip against my feet

The endless drops roll on
From above against our skin
Against the walls we hide
Begging for the warmth within

A sheet of rain came greeting
Cold silk of welcome for me
Each step I took within them
Brought kisses both wet and free

Years ago I used to love
To share my song with the rain
These days my old heart wonders
If these bones would protest in pain

Ah, rainy night, you ease my soul
You bring to me much joy
With playful wetness and quick carrasses
The night, she is your voice

Mountaineer's Song

Singing rock, O' singing rock
For whom do you song?
Why do I hear your glories
Long after I am gone?

I know that you are waiting
I hear your whispering winds
I miss your strong character
That bend my soul to a whim

How you have been patient
Teaching me in silent grace
That I may know your secrets
If only I pledge my days

Singing rock, O' singing rock
How I dream of your song
In my nights of engineered reality
I will return, it won't be long

I Already Love Her

She turned my chaos into light
When my days all feel like nights
Gave me another reason to fight
To seek, to find, to love this life


Oh how it stirred my weary soul
Sparked a desire to have and hold
She was the flame against my night
"But it cannot happen," I was told

Oh the bitterness I felt
The anguish my reality dealt
That I must bend like the others
And not follow what I felt

But these moments are wise
For possession has a great price
To be paid by captor and captive both
For love to be bound in its device

What is free must remain so
Lest we forbid love to grow
We cannot keep what we cannot hold
Much less fit pure love into a mould

After much deliberation,
I reconsidered the situation
I guess I already loved her
Without the meaningless posession

==============================

I've tried many times before to "love" so many people, only to end up temporarily elated by the illusions I chose to see and believe. But this peace is fragile, and indeed none of my previous "loves" lasted very long. Not to say that I wasn't serious about them, but I certainly didn't know what was truly wrong.

I'm only beginning to see that many of the things I've done in the past have stemmed from my obsessive pursuit of purpose and romance. They have undoubtedly shaped me and convinced me of some approaches in life, where some of my greatest mistakes involved trying to possess what was once free, and to force love to conform to my romantic ideals.

Ah such mistakes do not reveal themselves easily or quickly, because we would surely have been blind in our pursuits; our mental gaze tunneled by our personal histories and past baggages. A continuous and thorough evaluation of one's life would be necessary to begin the journey of self-discovery -- for it is only after finding yourself, that you can truly find, and love, someone else.

Save Your Dreams For Another Day

Catcher, oh dear catcher
Can you hear me?
Do you know my heart?
For you hold my dreams

Do you save them
In those precious gems
That wink at me
In the night wind

I see in your eye
The promise of truth
A reason for my sigh
A hope for the missing

Catcher, oh dear catcher
How dear you are to me
I wish for your magic
To keep my heart

You'd guard my secrets
You'd stop the tears
You'd help me learn to save
My dreams for another day

Black Wings In The Night

You gave me a chance
To know how it feels
To fly upon wings
A freedom so real


I could have been Hermes
Through these night moments
When your precious gifts
Sailed me on streetlamp oceans


These black wings
Though are old
Their strong sweeps
Lend a power so real


Oh if only I could
Keep this up
But I've much to learn
Of this new art


=====================



Thank you for the rollerblades :)

Dreaming

I had a dream last night
You were in my arms
And it felt right

It was unexpected
I didn't dare consume
The grace of your affection

Your shoulders nuzzled me
Your hair whispered scents
But your face I couldn't see

I knew your shape
I had seen it before
Burned into my head

I knew your smell
And that soothing warmth
You were like a spell

Alas, who you my dear are
I may never know
Only to guess by far

For now I'm left
With your lingering love
And the sigh of your breath

Beautifully Broken

These streets
They are filthy
These rags
They don't fit me

My life
It's here for all to see
I'm poor
Born into your destiny

I have no name
They say I'm a son-of-a-bitch
It's all the same
Another name from their lips

My mom
She might as well be dead
My father
He's got drugs in his head

Someone said
That I look like a angel
Someone said
That I would soon be legal

Red lights
These walls, my home, cold
These men
At night they come, bold

I live here
In the backstreets of Calcutta
I'll be free
But all I've known is here

I Wish You Love

I have no excuse,
And there's no use,
To hide the love
I see in your eyes.

A love you gave
The love I saved
Inside this heart
Afraid yet enslaved

We've both had our truths,
We've both had to choose
This wine became vintage
Its full bouquet bloomed

We've lived these years
With our romantic fears
Too old for this philosophy,
Too young to stay clear

I'm a fool to have longed
To have waited wrong
When you wished me love
All along.

Confessions Over Tea

We'll lay it bare
In her cozy care
We'll fight the tears
Share out these fears

With creased smiles
And endearing frowns,
Like a mellow flame
We're warm with pain

Time will be our mistress
Tonight she keeps our secrets,
Our shattered pieces
And dearest misses.

We will surrender,
Quietly confess to her
While speaking of clouds
Like dreams and doubts.

Learning Compassion

FOR IAN:

Since I've learned to fight
I've been told that I
Should understand this rule
Marked in black and white

Live well and give your best
But there will come a test
Nothing is beyond its grasp
Nothing can teach death

But I was young
And I was stubborn
Too darn quick
With my sleek wit

Too soon your eyes grew shut
Against my late compassion
Upon your marble altar
I wished I hadn't judged

A loss is still a loss
In your wake come many
We offer our late praise
For life's greatest lesson

the queen

rule the earth
rule the seasons
regardless

bring the wine
bring her flowers
endless

there she rules
on jewel throne
graceful

but she cries
those opal eyes
inside

there's so much pain
from here
there's no one close
deep inside
all she gives is not
enough
and it can get really
silent

==============================

Beauty in darkness
darkness in beauty,
One's perspective
Another's prejudice

One For The Twilights

Feel the burn

Taste the morning in her kiss.

Feed the beast,

Steal it from her blushing lips.


One by one,
Whispers sing of giving in
Yearn for more
Taking can be such sweet sin


Because when morning comes
This bliss shall die
With the coming of life
We must run and fight

So I shed my skin
My fears and all my years
You strip me down
And take me in

Then we breathe in the stars
And with molten souls
The bliss it sings
In silent choir

For just a while
There is no fear
Feel it melt away
And leave us here

In the silence
In each other's silence

So much is in vain
My dear
There was so much pain
That we forget

We come alive before
The mornings come
Before we're silenced
And it's really silent

Most of The Time

We live and we breathe
We think and make believe
Most of the time

You fill these empty spaces
With the grace of angel faces
Most of the time

You give all that I can take
You give yourself away
Most of the time

I've tried so hard to stop
Against the hands of clocks
To buy some time

To hope in time
That this would all be fine
Most of the time

Now I live and breathe
With all my memories
I make believe
Most of the time

Tribute

A tribute to my fate
Weaved of love and beauty
Framed in such irony

Like a dreamers' love
Spun in gold and glitter
Thrown like wind blown cinder

I've found a truth
A truth about my loves
Two enchanting, ironic loves

Your free and lively natures
I fear to live and leave about
But cannot live without

I'd chase after your halos
To chase but not to steal
To seek that secret thrill

I crave to hold but just a while
Your tender brilliance
Your fragile spark

But alas I will lose you
For you cannot be owned
Not by my choice alone

For you see the question is
Not if I could love you
For I surely do

And not if you could love me
But if you
Would choose to

I guess I'm finally happier now
Knowing what I did not
But still ignorant about a whole lot!

The Hardest Things

"Love the heart that hurts you, but never hurt the heart that loves you"

"The only way to navigate Love
Is to be lost within it
It is neither a beast to be conquered
Nor a thought to be cornered
You are a guest in its presence
A voyeur in the dark
So feast not
Rather be the feast
Worthy of legends
For there is no sweeter ecstasy
Than the nectar
That is the yearning of your heart"


I received these blessed words from an old friend.

These words are simple, but I don't know what they mean. I read them over and over again, only to find myself lost in their dreamy rhyme.

I feel so jaded. Won't you come back and save me?

Sunshine

I could be happy
Just watching you glow,
Your glorious orange crown
Warms up my soul.

From a humble afterglow
A hint of the night,
Your brilliance comes burning
In molten light.

Like a match burning backwards
You burst into day
From a shy blushing amber
To a bright bold gold

I could be happy
Just watching you rise
All your golden caresses
They kiss my eyes.

Don't you ever stop smiling
You give me life,
If you ever stop coming,
I'd surely die...

Altar

On these steps I lay
Thinking 'bout your face
I feel it
Draw your curtains close
Against this cold

Just moments ago
We were dancing in
The twilight
Rising with the sun
Our souls unfold

In time you could be
All that I would know
My dreams are waking
And I'm loosing hold
Who's to say I'm coming round to you?


Upon these knees I've fallen
I've prayed for so long,
The thought of you
It's feeding this fire inside.
Won't you descend and save me
With the grace of your song,
Upon this altar I'm kneeling
In search of a sign.


Candles burn true
My lies they are these shadows hiding
From my eyes
From my life

In search of a truth
I look upon each altar I pass
From dreams I run
In search of you.


Upon these knees I've fallen
I've prayed for so long,
Your touch I feel it feeding
This fire inside.
Won't you descend and save me
With the grace of your song,
Upon your altar I'm kneeling
I'm waiting for your sign.

Disclosure

Tonight is a night unlike many I’ve had. It is rare, for I find myself wanting to write and rhyme but blessed with far more cords than I can weave. As if a whisper from the moon had smoothed its way past the clouds, my heart is cooled by reality yet warmed by its sudden recollections.

In the night sky lie my answers. This night sky, this full moon is to blame for a great many things that have chanced me so far. Aren’t you, my old friend?

I have had the pleasure of three great loves in my life so far: the stars, the moon and the clouds. Of course, I am constantly invited and ticked by the winds, with whom I gratefully converse and share my wisdom, but I don't fancy them. Allow me now, to share with you these precious pieces of my heart.

O' Stars, celestial but unreachable; glorious in your heavenly throne, I think you exotic. Because I can never have you, I think our distance fated and made all the more charming by your winking smiles. Such vivid romanticism you offer me.

Dearest moon, for so long, so many have loved your presence. I too was not spared your omnipresence; your silver gown brought my senses to their knees and inspired these reckless poets to adorn you with mysticisms as witness to your beauty. My kingdom’s was fragile, but I was too proud to think otherwise.

Lovely clouds; oh, how limitless you seem – shapeless and giving, urging myths of your own from the many scattered souls that you shower. You are earth-bound; though my floating soul craves for moon and star, you inspire its youthful imagination as you exist seamlessly with gold and silver, day and night. You were always there, after the moon was gone.

“I miss you all, oh so very much.” I think, making love to this night scene with my eyes. “You are all so beautiful,” I admitted, “and deserve more than the pathetic private worship of this madman who burns his words the way he does himself.”

This cauldron of ink, silver, diamond and silk returns my stares; it offers me silence, and echoes of my desperation. I find myself wondering again why I still feel as if nothing could anchor my sleepless soul, as if I once had everything, but now can only want everything.

No matter my disposition, my loves have always lived and changed with the night sky on their own decision. I bid goodnight to them: to the stars, for whom I will always smile and wonder, but know in secret that I may never be with, if I may only dream. The moon, who still curls my lips with her silver fingers, and make me sigh because I once dreamt.

And of course, and perhaps most lovingly, to the clouds for whom I now give all that’s left of my love, gingerly exploring her silken broadways in search for her cheerful and light kisses. With the clouds, the winds are common-folk, and oh, do they love to dance and cheer. They make me smile, even if only for a while.

“I guess it makes sense to say this here then,” I smiled to myself.

“I love you, you know I do.”

Finally.

Woman

What is it
About the shape of a lady
That whispers
To me a quiet story
Of love, of fear
Of dreams and fragility

What is it
About the geography
Of a woman
That sings
A bittersweet melody,
A gentle garmet
That reins in any stallion


(Incomplete, but this poem came to my mind some time ago while I wandered the streets of Manila. I'm sure I can do a better job, but I just liked the way this half-baked fantasy waylaid my thoughts.)

Before Sleep Took Me Under

When my mind is drugged
When my eyes are haunted
By ghosts
And dreams departed,

Through nostalgia thick
I bargain soul and will
For something other
Than thoughts of you.

You are there,
But I can't care,
For nothing else
Cos I want you here.

Adrift on melancholy
A sigh heavy with old love,
These ghosts
Still test my worth.

In light I walk
In darkness I sleep
When will you
Leave my jaded lips?

Unbelievale

Could it be
That I'm finally free,
Given the chance
Again to dance
In the sunshine
That you have made mine?

Slowly these vines
That grew my lines,
Stopped to creep
And went to sleep.

Thus I woke
In the golden yoke
Of shunshine and moonlight
And the comforting sight
Of your smile
And our idle sighs.

Gifts

Said a gentleman,
To a lady fair
‘In and with tradition
I bring thee grandé fare.’

‘From the Orient Pearl
I bring forth spices
I bring forth jewels
For m’lady’s devices.

Perhaps most of all
I bring thee wisdom
No stories tall
Nor thoughts random

What is happiness
But a bad memory,
In times of forgetfulness
We know that pain is temporary.’

Evolution

Beauty begets beauty
Your painted reality
Versus my wounded dignity

How your words evolve
Slow but with resolve

From yesterday’s gloom
To today’s bloom
Your light still fills my room

Metro Mayhem

This modern shack
This urban sprawl
This is Manila
Sunset, nightlife and all.

On a pushcart
One sells art
On another
Lies a family in parts.

Someone’s daughter
Cradling her baby sister
By the roadside
Invisible to passers.

Someone’s mother
Busy touting flowers
To highway pilots
Who don’t seem to bother.

Someone’s brother
Hunched like a scholar
Atop his trash bag chair
A book he devours.

In my clothes I feel rich
In my dignity I feel sick
I can’t think
When she came to me
Palm open
And a look so deep
I felt a kick

She had long ago learnt
Not to yearn
But to live
And wait her turn

A Hot Night On the Cold Sidewalk

Have you slept
Under the stars?
Would you sleep
Unafraid on grass
Under a moon
A tungsten bloom.
Could you dream alone
Stay warm in a cupboard dome.
Could you do without a home?
Could you even live without your phone?

Manila!

In one piece,
Hotel room finally at ease.
To the mambo of MTV,
A mirror of her sister [V].
Diverse and divided,
Night lights excite a soul, uninvited.
Foreign.

Revival

From casual conversation
A jewelled inspiration
Bore a fragile twinkle
A drop and ripple.

A simple gift
Of words and myth
Of song so sweet
Soundless from these lips.

Enjoy, for
This revival,
Unexpected
Is jaded.



BROWN PENNY

I WHISPERED, 'I am too young,'
And then, 'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.

'Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.'
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.

O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.

Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.

~ William Butler Yeats

Shutting Down

I've been contemplating this for some time.

Perhaps I should shut down this blog and move on out. Away from all this.

I love to write, to rhyme, to carry on this comfortable madness. But I have found nothing but sadness so far. While sadness is beautiful and beauty is priceless wine, I find that I can stomach little more.

I'm sick of its taste. Oh, the bittersweet nectar that flows through my senses and nuzzles my soul. I've been intoxicated, and now, hungover.

This time, I have perhaps been truely left with nothing. Because I have to build up so many things again from scratch, at work and at home. I find myself stretched, and wanting.

Wanting healing more than anything else. Because my wounds are old, and beginning to stink.

I feel like a fizzling sparkler left in the dark after the celebrations are over...

I'm shutting down this woozy nausea of rhyme and rhythm, and moving on to a harder skined beast to hide my soft underbelly. My words will poison another heart no more.

More updates on my new digital canvas coming soon.



JKLM

My New Baby

http://www.rp.sg/osg/sports/ivp.asp

http://www.rp.sg/osg/republic/index.asp

My new baby; my new muse.

My new want-it-all focus of my life.

Check it out. Comments are welcomed.

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I'm moving from one obsession to another in my life. Now isn't that healthy?

I'm finally happy. And that's why I've stopped rhyming for a while. Music and poetry is at their sweetest for me when it's dark.

Oh don't worry. They'll be back. They're already a part of me.

==============================

Thank you for being there with me through it all.

I guess we both just need more time. For now.

Who knows what else will happen tomorrow?



JKLM

Article #04

Here's a sample of one of the articles that I've worked on for my department. Darn... this one sure took a long time. Too much info, too many inspirations and ideas, not to mention too many noteworthy gold-dust moments.

I'm trying to polish up my writing as well as work towards establishing a sports publication for my department. Simply because the kids deserve it. And once you've seen them perform on their personal battlefields, you're sure that they will be able to surprise you again.

This site will change too, hopefully, into a sort of periodical layout. Just for kicks...

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3RD NATIONAL INTER-GRASIO PENCAK SILAT CHAMPIONSHIPS 2006:
Beyond A Sport; Into Pesilat


What do you know about Silat? A soldier’s conviction is best communicated through his unyielding stance, but how much deeper is the true extent of a warrior’s soul, and the cause for which he fights?

Pencak Silat has made its presence felt in Singapore since its humble beginnings at Masjid Al-Khair mosque in 1977, and it has since then grown and evolved to become a modern interpretation of chivalry for the local Malay/Muslim community. With about 3000 students, over 60 instructors and many more supporters rallied behind the flag of this sport, Pencak Silat has pervaded Singapore through its training centre at Residents’ Committees and Community Centre, and made an undeniable impact in the region during the Asian and Commonwealth Games.

Locally, Pencak Silat is taught and managed through the traditional hierarchy system of a National Sports Association (Singapore Silat Federation), its constituent clubs and affiliates. The Grasio Association is Singapore’s largest Silat club, with an active membership of over 2000 from over 70 constituent grass-roots groups. And it is this mammoth club that took the initiative to organize this explosive national event.

From 22nd to 25th December 2006, RP’s familiar AGORA Halls were converted into the modern battle grounds for Singapore’s Pencak Silat practitioners. Regardless of age, skill and race, over 1000 warriors clashed in close to 20 events to pursue the ideals of Pesilat and bring glory to their Grasio group. Never mind that the event stole Santa’s limelight, as it turns out, the participants received their fair share of goodies this Christmas and had plenty to cheer about.

Over 1000 members put aside their holiday plans and devoted their time tirelessly under the leadership of their Grandmaster and local Silat hero, Mr. Sheik Alau’ddin Bin Yacoob Marican, PBM. Mr. Sheik’s experience as a Silat practitioner and coach is undeniable: as a two-time World Silat Champion, multiple SEA Games gold medalist as well as a multiple award-winning coach, his presence immediately commanded the respect and attention of all who were present. The success of this event was a clear testament to team spirit of the Grasio Sports Silat School, and Mr. Sheik’s experienced guidance.

The energy exhibited at this event was cumulated at the opening and closing ceremonies. Like a great mythical monkey, the spirit of camaraderie and anticipation of competition rose steadily with the excited chatter and eager shifting feet in the AGORA Halls. Once the GOH arrived on-site, traditional Malay musical percussions thundered in a synchronized heartbeat through the halls;. Like a jungle tune of raw energy, kompangs and rebanas singing proudly their praises for the gregarious spirit of Pesilat and the unity of the local Malay / Muslim unity.

Throughout the rest of the event, competitors contested in a range of contact and non-contact forms of Silat. Some of the highlights included contact sparring between contestants as young as 5 years old, as well as an all-stars sparring match between 5 of Gasio Sports Silat School’s representatives and a rival local school. A first in this national Silat championship is also the All-Styles Open Championships, which feature full contact sparring and a no-styles –barred. Due to the rigorous demands of this segment, strict requirements and rules were imposed to ensure fair play and healthy competition.

There was plenty to see and cheer about in this championship. Confident and powerful stances displayed by experienced Silat practitioners inspired their younger apprentices, while precisely synchronized movements from youths in the Group Sparring Art Form segments earned thumbs-up from even some of the strictest instructors. I was inspired by what I had the priviledge to witness, but even more so intrigued by this art-sport that was Pencak Silat.

As I had come to understand, Pencak Silat in Singapore today was first conceived through the warring cultures of feudal Indonesia, in the Nusantara archipelago. This art of self-defense was subsequently forged through the ages by a mix of tradition and modernity, eventually giving rise to the dynamic art-sport we see today. Pencak Silat is still taught in Singapore with a style that respects and honours its traditional emphasis on honesty, justice, respect, discipline and loyalty, yet acknowledging our changing way of life through the accommodation of personal style and alternative training methods.

The purpose of Grasio Association (Singapore), as intended by its founder Mr. Sheik Alau’ddin, was not only to reach out Malay community, but also to other races, focusing on the promotion of self-development and improvement through self-discipline and learning the technical aspects of the sport. Indeed, it must demand much self-discipline of individuals to learn the skills of fighting and to gain the knowledge of mental training while controlling the desire to misuse of abuse it.

This understanding and respect for the old-world values of justice and honour can perhaps be best summarized in the Pesilat Pledge. This pledge is a symbolic representation of Pencak Silat’s warrior roots, and more significantly stays throughout the ages to remind all practitioners of its timeless and true values. I like to think of these as the modern knights, and the re-discovered oaths of their round-table.

Pencak Silat is a sport based on fitness, built on technique and refined through its values. Above that, Silat is a way of life, for its passionate practitioners and for the lives which they have changed. Many youths found their way around their teenage problems through healthy engagement in this sport, while many other found their higher calling in pursuing the physical limits and achievements in the national and regional sports scene. For many years now, Pencak Silat has touched and affected lives of its practitioners, and it will continue to do so, much thanks to the efforts and wisdom of its celebrated leader and local hero, Mr. Sheik Alau’ddin.

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Pesilat Pledge
Pesilat is an individual who has noble mind and character.
A Pesilat is a man who honors his fellow man and loves friendship and peace.
A Pesilat is a man who always thinks and acts positively, creatively and dynamic.
A Pesilat is a knight who upholds truth honesty and justice, and is always resilient in facing any ordeal and temptation.
A Pesilat is a knight who is always responsible for his words and deeds.

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This just so characteristic of my style. I'm now desperate to evolve and grow; in writing, in appetite and in senses I'm hungry, oh yes once again, for more. And that's exactly what I'm gonna get -- one way or another.

Comments?

Get me at limjunekiat@gmail.com


JKLM

Sliding

I've been sliding off the communications grid for some good reasons.

1) Work is a relentless tide of deadlines, responsiblities and ideas. Especially so when my manager is all about the job, the perfect role model -- efficient, smart and without an extremely diversed social life.

I'm just the new maverick in the deck. "You do too much. You're still new, that's why you try to do everything; I was once like that," I was told. I don't believe in that bullsit. For someone like me, it takes a fair bit to make me regret my decisions -- I'm way too romantic for that.

I love my job, though. Can't say the same for some of the colleagues, but I guess you'll get used to their habits after a while.

2) I've been racing. Adventure races are my new muse. There's just something about having the official excuse to monkey about on a forest trail, tearing through gravel patches on a bicycle and commanding your gear to help you achieve a common objective that makes me so happy.

Yes, I don't mind getting dirty too. It's just a part of the journey, and an essential part of a racer's ultimate image.

3) Observing things and people. Oh, the sweet tireless roaming and romantic eye -- it never sleeps.

I still love to look at people and watch the world around me. With a fair amount of certainty, I dare say that "everything" is getting prettier by the days. The evolution of packaging, promotions and presentation have surpassed my previously cynical curiosity of the flesh and material. If I weren't so shy, I'm sure I'd now be a bit of a shark in these shirts I wear.

Needless to say, I have at times wondered if I'm one of the several unfortunate drop-outs from evolution. Every cycle needs them -- every wave of popular culture needs people to push aside.

Then again, with a tan that makes me look like I've been holidaying in the bahamas could also mean that I've just stepped out onto an alternate image path. Ah, but for something classy...

4) I'm about to embark on a very big personal project. A cross between publicity efforts for sports and sports journalism, I'm championing a campaign to develop my school's sports identity. I've got a plan; now let's see if I've got the brains to make it happen.

My blog will change in its format too, to suit this new direction. You, my reader, will get a first-hand experience of what it is that I'm working on. Soon.

5) I'm still searching for answers. I really ought to stop, but it's like asking me not to think about you.

I typically start off wondering about how you're doing, and then I remember things I really ought to forget. And just as suddenly, stop myself with just a simple answer: it doesn't matter now -- you're happier.

Between the gaps in deadlines and personal spaces, I don't always mope about these hopeless pursuits. I'm, shall we say, colder now; shutting down and shutting out anything that seems to stem from inside.

Oh, it would be easy to avoid feeling; not stop altogether, for that would be improbable and unproductive. Perhaps with time I will really become the Leo I truely am -- hearless killer when I want, a family animal when I am needed. We'll see.

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Merry Christmas, everyone.



JKLM